Welcome to Cubs General Manager Jim Hendry's Roast

John ChonarzewskiContributor IAugust 20, 2009

MILWAUKEE - JUNE 4: General Manager Jim Hendry of the Chicago Cubs talks with reporters before a game against the Milwaukee Brewers at Miller Park June 4, 2007 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

Before I begin let me make this perfectly clear in order that there is no misunderstanding of my article.  Today I am attempting to be a comedian and if you think my article is not funny that's ok because not everyone has the same sense of humor.  I am just poking fun here is all so don't send me any hate comments cause I won't read them.  It's all in good fun, ok?


They are coming out with a new show next season about the 2009 year of the Cubs called Lost, Again!


They are thinking about moving the Cubs to a different channel next year.   They are putting it on the Fearnet channel because it is now considered a horror show.




Perry Mason:   Isn’t it true, Mr. Hendry that you lied to Cub Fans about improving the team by acquiring Bradley, Miles, and Gregg?


Jim Hendry:  No comment.


Perry Mason:  Isn’t it true, Mr. Hendry that you are already preparing a statement which places the blame for not winning the division on injuries, etc.


Jim Hendry:  No comment.


Perry Mason:  Isn’t it true, Mr. Hendry that your wife is a Cardinal’s Fan and has asked you for a divorce to marry a Cardinal Fan because she’s tired of being married to a loser”?


Jim Hendry:  No comment.


Perry Mason:  And isn’t it true, Mr. Hendry that you make bets against the Cubs for your own personal gain?


Jim Hendry:  5th amendment.


Perry Mason:  How long has it been, Mr Hendry since you made the right decision on anything let alone the improvement of the Cub’s team?


Jim Hendry:   5th amendment.