Quick Thoughts on the Florida Gators' 2009 Schedule

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Quick Thoughts on the Florida Gators' 2009 Schedule
(Photo by Doug Benc/Getty Images)

In honor of graduation, I decided to write the longest, short article of all time: 1000 words of thoughts that aren’t much longer than a tweet.  I’ll cover the entire Gators schedule along with a few thoughts/factoids about each game or opponent.

Why would I do this?  I don't know, maybe because I'm sick of writing in paragraph form and pulling a last ditch effort at rebelling against normalcy in an effort to pave my own path in life.  Or, I'm just incredibly lazy, and I don't feel like tying up loose ends. 

Anyway, here's a preview of the format: I’ll cover the entire Gators schedule along with a few thoughts/factoids about each game or opponent.  I think Microsoft Word gave it a UGA readability score.  ZING!

So get to reading/commenting, Gator fans, and remember, only 16 days til kickoff!

 

Sept. 5 Charleston Southern

Who are they?

A Div I–AA squad who went 7–5 last year, a record that included blowout losses to Miami (FL) and FCS snub, Liberty (even playoffs aren’t perfect).

Fun Fact

This game sucks; it’s not getting a fun fact

Why are they on the schedule?

To make me cry. 

Because Urban wants to keep the BCS standings close in case three teams have the same record for drama’s sake

Reasons to watch it?

It’s televised (SunSports). 

If you like watching uncompetitive blowout wins. 

For John Brantley and the freshmen.

Best-case scenario?

UF’s starters get their warm-up touches in and get to go to the locker room for good before halftime. 

Worst-case scenario?

Someone goes down with an injury in a completely unnecessary game.

Can the Gators drop this one?

Not a chance.

 

Sept. 12 Troy

Who are they?

The reigning Sun–Belt champs who cut a 49 point lead in half against Florida in 2007 prompting Urban to put the pressure back on and exposing the Gators’ secondary

Fun Fact

Troy has won at least a share of the Sun–Belt Championship in three of its four years in the conference

Why it’s on the schedule?

A non–marquee but bowl winning FBS squad who will serve as a better tune–up prior to the start of conference play than a DI–AA scrub

Reasons to watch it?

Troy likes to pass and will give the Gators’ secondary their first real test.

Best-case scenario?

Like Charleston Southern, UF just needs to win big and get the starters resting quickly to get prepped for the SEC

Worst–case scenario?

Like 2007, Troy exposes a glaring weakness in the Gators’ game.

Can the Gators drop this one?

Nope, not happening.

 

Sept. 19 Tennessee

Who are they?

The Vols.

Fun Fact

This season, the rivalry is tied at 19–19.  Florida could take the series lead for the first time in history

Why it’s on the schedule?

SEC East, rivalry, it’s the third Saturday in September...you know, the usual.

Reasons to watch it?

See above

Best–case scenario?

Tebow and the Gators torch the Vols to the tune of 40+ points, setting the record for margin of victory for the Gators over the Vols and give Kiffin a nice welcome to the SEC.

Worst–case scenario?

Gators lose; Kiffin is a hero in Tennessee.

Can the Gators drop this one?

Common sense says “No way”, but it is a rivalry game, so maybe.

Sept. 26 @Kentucky

Who are they?

That basketball school that happens to play in our football conference

Fun Fact

Kentucky is second all–time in basketball championships with seven, but has only eight total bowl wins.

Reasons to watch?

To see the streak continue.  The Gators haven’t lost against the Cats in the last 22 appearances.

Tebow shines against UK: through 3 games–9 TDs, 448 passing yards 199 rushing yards

Best–case scenario?

Repeat of 2008.

Worst–case scenario?

Someone goes down in a Gators win.

Can the Gators drop this one?

No way.  No. 23 is on the way.

 

Oct. 10 @LSU

@Night?

You kneaux it.

Fun Fact

The tiger’s name is Mike

Reasons to watch?

Game of the year regular season for the Gators

Best–case scenario?

Best game all season

Gritty Gators win

Worst–case scenario?

Death Valley at night is the death of the Gators’ BCS run as the Gators lose by more than 10.

Can the Gators drop this one?

Yes, it wouldn’t even surprise me.

 

Oct. 17 Arkansas

Scavenger hunt assignment:

Outdated pun on a Razorbacks’ T–shirt, i.e. “Hog wild? Yep, we’re Nutts!”

Fun Fact

Arkansas left the Southwest Conference in 1991 for the Southeast Conference but didn’t change locations.

Watch out for

Michael Smith– Three players went over 100 yards rushing on the Gators last year, Michael Smith, Oklahoma’s Chris Brown, and Alabama’s Glenn Coffee.  Smith led the charge with 133 yards and 6.7 ypc. 

Best–case scenario?

Tebow pads his Heisman chances in a blowout win

Worst–case scenario?

This year’s 2008 Ole Miss.

Can the Gators drop this one?

Depends on how good Ryan Mallet is.

Oct. 24 @Mississippi State

@Night?

Don’t know yet.

Fun Fact

SEC mandate c.2006 Cowbell is technically illegal

Looking forward to Jacksonville?

Last time, that didn’t work out so well.

Best–case scenario?

Early exit for the starters means lots of rest for Georgia

Worst–case scenario?

Dan Mullen’s knowledge leads to the Gators losing to the worst team in the SEC

Can the Gators drop this one?

Ninety-five percent sure they can’t.  Still, the Bulldogs were terrible in 2004, too.

 

Oct. 31 Georgia @Jax

Still a Cocktail Party?

Survey says, hell yeah.

Fun Fact

“Gators wear jorts”

Look out!

If Georgia torches Ok State, the already huge Cocktail Party gets a lot bigger

Best–case scenario?

2008 II

Worst–case scenario?

2007 II

 

Nov. 7 Vanderbilt

Admissions?

Vandy SAT 1330–1500

UF SAT 1160–1380

Fun Fact

Everyone knows UF’s reputation as a party school, but Vandy carries that label as well among the top universities, having ranked on Playboy’s top 25 party schools list

Best–case scenario?

BCS and Heisman padding

Worst–case scenario?

Gators win despite Tebow’s bad game

Last time Vandy won in Gainesville?
1945

Will it happen this year?

Not a chance.

Nov. 14 @South Carolina

Spurrier’s last stand?

We’re getting there.  He said he’s in it to win it last year, but winning “it” is pretty hard right now in the SEC

All–time record

Florida leads 22–4–3.  Prior to 2005, USC hadn’t won since 1939

Best–case scenario?

Gators record a shutout

Worst–case scenario?

Gators win a close, ugly battle raising doubts about their legitimacy

No loss?

Not that I can see.

 

Nov. 21 FIU

Why?

Were the 100 other teams that the Gators could have scheduled all busy?

Reasons to watch?

Probably a cheap one to go to live.  Mother’s is fun post game.

Best–case scenario?

John Brantley starts

Worst–case scenario?

John Brantley sucks

Can the Gators drop this one?

No, they wouldn’t lose the game-halting brawl either.

 

Nov. 28 FSU

Psyched?

I am. Seventy-five percent of the members of my immediate family are FSU alums/students

Look out for

Jermaine Thomas.  He averaged 7 ypc last year

Best–case scenario?

Gators roll through the Noles to a 12–0 record

Worst–case scenario?

FSU pulls the upset squandering the Gators national title hopes

Could it happen?

Yes.  FSU is better than people will give them credit for

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