Can I Kick It?: AC Milan Season Preview in the Form of a Rap Song

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Can I Kick It?: AC Milan Season Preview in the Form of a Rap Song
(Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)

I will give you exactly what the headline suggests: A serious season preview for the Italian giants AC Milan, and yes...I'll rap. It's titled, "Go Rossoneri."

Milan has had a tough preseason so far, having lost all but two friendlies. Despite making two high-profile signings in the form of Klass-Jan Huntelaar and Oguchi Onyewu, the team has had defensive and offensive problems aplenty.

A tough season lies ahead in Italy and Europe, but this Milan fan(atic) believes that Milan will do well.

Ahem... *clears throat*

 

Go Rossoneri!

Rocky G's in da house...let's do this boyz...

Yo!

AC Milan is on a mission
We ain't crazy, we ain't juz dissin'
With or without your kind permission
We'll hand you out a nice a**kickin'

Inter and Juve, you ain't got nothin' on us
We'll touch the sky, you'll juz bite the dust
If you're Monica, we're Hillary
Don't mess with us!

Boom, boom!
Go Rossoneri!
Boom, boom!
Let's go Rossoneri! [chorus x 2]

You say our attack ain't good? Listen to thiz...

Dis season Pato and Huntelaar will score like a mean machine
Then Inzaghi will come off the bench and score another fifteen
If Ronaldinho strikes form, he'll be like Hulk—green and mean
So shut yor mouth haters, we were born ready like James Dean

Our youth structure is strong, folks waiting to burst on to the scene
One kid Ignazio Abate, he's got stuff you ain't seen
We ain't blank, ya fools, we're rebuilding;
We juz have a slate wiped, polished and clean

Boom, boom!
Go Rossoneri!
Boom, boom!
Let's go Rossoneri! [chorus x 2]

Defensive problems? Ha!

Nesta is back from injury, and he's raring to go
Favalli ain't that bad, he can hold his own
Oddo and Zambrotta can run down the flanks and flow
When Onyewu gets a match, he'll be sure to whoop your a** some more

Hell, we can play without a proper defense, we got Gattuso
The man's a beast, he lives to see you suffer and moan
Dance and prance, but you can't get past him ye know
Once "the bull" tackles you, your a** gets nailed to the floor!

Boom, boom!
Go Rossoneri!
Boom, boom!
Let's go Rossoneri![chorus x 2]

Our midfield is sluggish, boring and slow? In your dreams, sucka...

Pirlo is the man, he can do no wrong
His free-kicks hit the net with the sound of a gong
Dinho can move fast like he's playing ping-pong
Seedorf can chase a ball from Milan to Hong Kong!

Captain Ambrosini is the King Kong
He's got more class than that Limo parked on the front lawn
Our midfield is classier than Katherine Heigl in an evening gown
Compare our hairstyles, Jose Mourinho; I'm Patrick Dempsey, you're just a clown!

Boom, boom!
Go Rossoneri!
Boom, boom!
Let's go Rossoneri! [chorus x 2]

I'm telling all ya haters for the last time
Milan will win the title and the CL crown
I like Juventus, so I ain't coming after thee
But Inter Milan, you're going down, down...down!

Boom, boom!
Go Rossoneri!
Boom, boom!
Let's go Rossoneri! [chorus x 4]

Boom!

Peace.

 

PS:  The above work is meant for humorous purposes only. No team, player, fan, or entity is directly or indirectly meant to be insulted or belittled.

I hope you all have a good sense of humor...assuming this actually turned out well.

Grazie.

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