Kristin Was Wrong, Brett: You Look Stupid in Purple
How do I say it?
James Williamson, for one of the few times of his life, is speechless.
I'm not surprised, adjectives just fail me for the moment to describe this situation.
I was slightly surprise when Jay Glazer wrote an article on MSN thinking Brett Favre was coming back, and I was thinking, 'Oh, if there is a god, whether Buddha or Allah or Jesus, please!!! Stop this topic from happening!'
I think I now have grounds to become Agnostic.
Does anybody think that Brett Favre has died and the Anti-Favre has shown up, because you don't do that to Packer fans.
Packer fans, from my experience, are human elephants; they treasure every memory from Curly Lambeau to Vince Lombardi to Mike Holmgren and now Brett Favre is going down in Packer history as football's Benedict Arnold.
How stupid can you get Brett? Is it the color purple? No, not the movie, the real color!
My fellow colleague and very close friend, Kristin Hamlin, is probably Brett's biggest fan.
She wrote a wonderful article saying how he would look good in purple.
Please read it here, it is good enough to be in Sports Illustrated in my opinion.
However, I politely disagree with my friend due to recent circumstances.
I used to be for this man coming back and playing for the Vikes, but a few things changed.
First, he actually lasted past training camp and no whining from him about playing.
I was thinking, 'Maybe its finally over, maybe he'll go off and cuddle with that beautiful wife of his and maybe have a Brett Jr to give the NFL later.'
So much for that thought.
He became too fickle for my taste. I understand he may want to rest a bit. I've played football too, and the practices and the games wear you down, but the Vikings gave him time.
And what did you do Brett? You said no. You said you wanted to enjoy retirement. You wanted to take your pension checks.
Now you are telling the world that you have changed your mind! Your wife should be grateful you weren't like this for marriage. "No honey, I want to get a refund on the ring instead of marrying you."
Or maybe you did. Maybe I should ask Deanna how many times you got down on one knee.
That's too much rest. I called the local scientist and he says the sun is the center of the universe, not your love for football.
Do you realize what you have done? You have given hope! These little kid Viking fans who hear how cool you are think you are going to give Minnesota a Super Bowl.
Something that their grandfathers have wanted to see with Tarkenton.
You have broken the hopes of three quarterbacks who thought that maybe, just maybe, I get to start this year instead of the old guy, Gus Frerotte.
Now they got an even older guy doing it instead. It is inevitable that one of those three quarterbacks will be cut and out of a job.
Tarvaris Jackson, Sage Rosenfels, and John David Booty.
Booty won't get the boot because the Vikes like what they see from him. Rosenfels is a guy they traded for and he's getting $3 million this year.
That leaves Jackson who was the starter two years ago. What a way to have a career being cut.
Brett Favre, you have to think about the consequences of your actions. You have more hairs on your chinny chin-chin than all three of the little pigs, and those hairs are gray.
You are old dude. You are a Hall of Famer dude. You have every single accolade and record worth having except the Super Bowl MVP, but you got a ring.
You even have this writer talking to you through a sports article which can't be deemed legally sane so now I have to watch out for the people in white. (Looking around to check for hidden cameras.)
Why are you putting your body at risk?
You may have started 269 straight games, but it takes just one really bad hit and you're done forever.
Plus, you stunk last year: 22 touchdowns to 22 interceptions and a 9-7 record with a team that could have made playoffs. That doesn't inspire confidence Brett!
I'm telling right now, Brett. You better have a lot in the tank because you arguably have the league's best running back and he deserves a legitimate shot at a Super Bowl title.
If you are here just to break Warren Moon's fumble record then you are being a selfish... can't say that word online.
You better show up and do well. Don't give us this on one week, off three weeks garbage that you gave Jets fans. Brad Childress is hanging on to his job by the skin of his teeth and you better show up for him.
If the Vikes lose to the Lions because of your bad play then you will not just have egg on your face, but breakfast menu of omelets.
Plus after wearing so much green, you look stupid in purple.
I may not be Chanel, but I have taste and purple is not your color.
Red is more like it, ever try the 49ers?
No, don't do that. Andrew Nuschler and his 49er friends would kill me if you started off your career as a Viking demanding a trade to the Golden Gate Bridge.
Other than that, good luck to you and the Vikings, they'll need it, and break that fumble record of Warren Moon's. You only need to do it...let's see...checking statbook...your middle name is Lorenzo dude?...five times.
Just fumble five times and get that monkey off Moon's back.
Viking fans, I hope your owners know what they are doing.
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