The Minnesota Vikings signed oft-retired, future Hall of Fame quarterback Brett Favre to a one-year contract Tuesday, effectively ending quarterback Tavaris Jackson's tenure with the team, if not the entire National Football League. Ever mindful of making the most of an opportunity, Jackson has made the surprising decision to switch careers from NFL quarterback...to anything else.
"I ain't playing no more," Jackson said. "So I's, you know, checking out a probicality of my future."
For Jackson, new career opportunities abound. The struggling third-year quarterback was seen Tuesday in the lobby of a local Edina Realty office struggling with the intricacies of a written job application. At the time, Jackson declined comment to reporters, but later gave a statement in a hastily organized press conference in a nearby Burger King parking lot. At least two local High School newspapers comprised the press corps.
"My brothers' Baby Momma got her [real estate] papers, and it did real well for her," said the alleged quarterback drafted with the 64th overall pick in 2006 by Minnesota.
Vikings head coach Brad Childress, speaking to the press regarding his retreat from an earlier statement that "...the door has been closed..." regarding the pursuit of Brett Favre, offered a one-word statement: "Duh" Childress then rolled his eyes and demanded of reporters, "Next question!"
Speaking during a down moment in Tuesday's practice session at the Vikings' Winter Park facility in Eden Prairie, superstar running back Adrian Peterson told the Bleacher Report, "Woo! Yes! Yes!" Peterson then thrust both fists in the air and began running around the practice field wildly.
Vikings fans, however, appear to be in shock, stymied at the very real prospect of having to now cheer for their former NFC North Division nemesis.
"Gosh. I mean...what if Favre throws another interception in the 'Dome? Am I supposed to cheer, or boo? Oh, fer Jeez," said local septic truck driver, Sven Tolleruud, interviewed by Bleacher Report in front of Ole's Tavern in Chisholm, Minn. Tolleruud's eyes then glazed over and he retreated to the the bar's dank interior, which was visibly filled with stunned, mumbling Minnesota boosters.
As for Jackson's prospects as a real estate agent in this troubled housing market, he is expected to, in his new field, mirror his success achieved in the NFL.
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