Today, I ate an orange for breakfast. I carefully peeled the skin off, separated each segment, and pulled off all of the stringy membranes. I then pulled a paper towel off of the roll, took it and the orange I had so painstakingly prepared to the couch, and began to watch SportsCenter.
As I took the first bite of the orange, I was reminded, suddenly and viciously, that I had bitten the inside of my cheek the night before. It was awful.
Then, something happened, and before the words "You've got to be kidding me" escaped my throbbing mouth, news broke stating, "It is being reported that two players on the Minnesota Vikings roster, who wished to remain anonymous, have stated that they know Brett Favre will be joining the roster before the season begins."
The stupidity of my own situation had been trumped. A second time, and this time with more emphasis, I repeated, "You've got to be kidding me."
Admittedly, I am a Seahawks fan, and I never really had any reason to admire the man and never any reason throughout my 28 years to have any love for Green Bay. So perhaps I am just too far removed from places where the mindset is that this man is a God.
I was never impressed.
Sure, he holds plenty of records, such as most consecutive career starts (269), most career touchdowns (464), and most attempts, completions, and yards.
But he also holds the records for career interceptions (310), career playoff interceptions (28), and most career playoff losses, admittedly a mixed criticism (10).
That means, by my math, that with 9,280 career attempts, he threw an interception every 30 attempts; with 5,720 completions, he threw a pick for every 18 completions.
What it really amounts to is that his records are pretty much in line with what an "above average" quarterback would accumulate through the 42 seasons I'm pretty sure he's spent in the league.
I'd list more statistics, but I've already written about this for far longer than I had intended. But feel free to look up your team's quarterback, because odds are Favre's stats won't jump off the page.
Anyway, the point I wanted to make is that there is real news in the world of sports, and I'm tired of all of that being left to its 30 seconds of coverage so that another Favre story can dominate the headlines once again.
Favre: Either you want to play or you don't. I'm not one to criticize, but please just get it over with already.
The only time I want to hear Favre's name on TV is if he happens to be completing passes to Marcus Trufant and Ken Lucas during the 2009 playoffs.
I already have one sore that keeps annoying me. I don't need two.
UPDATE: This morning, August 18th, Brett Farve signed a one year contract with the Minnesota Vikings. Now we can all look forward to another season of commentary about whether he was worth signing.