The first faux game of the season is in the books and the Dolphins have a lot of work ahead of them. Even though they did have some success on the field and came away with a much coveted W, there was still plenty of slop on the field—and I'm not just talking about the pigpen formerly known as the Marlin's infield.
I will have some more in-depth analysis later in the week, but for now, these little nuggets will have to suffice.
- Remember when I said that whoever made Troy "No Hands" Williamson look good during this game would be facing a demotion? Vontae, I'm looking at you...Good thing there are still three more faux games to redeem yourself. Unfortunately, VD2 isn't around any more to help you.
- Ricky was looking like Rikki-Tikki-Tavi out there slithering through defenders. Yoga does a body good.
- I have a feeling that millions of Dolphins fans will suffer from post traumatic stress disorder following the aural assault that will be unleashed upon them throughout the season...Fins to the left, Fins to the right...It's been ONE game and I am almost going mad with this tune bouncing around my cranium.
Throw in an auto-tuned version of one of the hokiest songs of all time, and its enough to drive any sane man absolutely bat**** crazy.
- Fear the Reaper...and the red zone, too. The Dolphins killed a few impressive drives with stupidity, miscues, and missed opportunities. You know Sparano won't stand for this kind of crap in such a crucial situation. Look for a ton of redzone work as they prepare for the Panthers next Saturday.
- Sean Smith, Mr. Fantastic. My pick for NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year. Yeah, it is probably the homer in me talking, but this guy looks good. He looked like the intended receiver during his picturesque pick in the end zone.
One thing is for sure—he has put a super-sized stranglehold on the starting cornerback spot opposite Will Allen. It will take some pretty crummy performances going forward for him to lose it now.
- Chris Williams looked Looney Tunes out there on special teams. Roadrunner. Speedy Gonzalez. Take your pick. Anything but Pepe Le Pew. Kid's got wheels. But does he have enough to stick on as WR given the competition? Which brings me too...
- The wide receiver competition is going to resemble an all-out MMA brawl pretty soon as guys near the bottom half begin to scramble for their lives. There will probably only be five spots for receivers on this roster.
Ted Ginn, Davone Bess, and Greg Camarillo should be safe. But that leaves Patrick Turner, Brian Hartline, Chris Williams, and Brandon London battling out for the last two spots. That's some tough competition as each of them has been showing a lot of promise throughout camp and during the Jags game.
- Ernest Wilford goes to...the end zone? Yes, it happened. Your eyes did not deceive you. Bad news? IT'S FARKING PRESEASON! Don't expect this to save his job...
- Not bad Chad Henne. He put together some nice little drives in there, although he did make his share of dumb plays too. But overall, he looked a lot more poised, even by preseason standards, than some of the turds the Dolphins have trotted out there in years past.
- Pat White needs to bulk up. While he is as quick as a cat, he is as scrawny as one, too. Like Mr. Bigglesworth of Austin Powers' fame scrawny...He will have to add a few pounds of muscle to that frame if he ever hopes to become a viable NFL quarterback.
Overall, it was a decent first showing from the defending AFC East champs. Now, they must work on cleaning up some of their sloppy penalties and improve upon the strides they made in this game for their next faux matchup against the Carolina Panthers on Saturday.