Hey, Buffalo Bills Fans, It's Time to Declare War on L.A.!

(Photo by Rick Stewart/Getty Images)

If you think California has done all the harm they can do to the Buffalo psyche and its sports teams, think again.  It isn't enough to have stolen the Braves from us.  Now they have their sites on the Bills.

Contrary to recent opinion, Toronto is not the threat.  Toronto is in the family.  LA is the enemy here.  Have you heard about this?

Billionaire California developer Ed Roski is determined to bring the NFL back to Los Angeles.  It doesn't matter that the city couldn't keep two legendary franchises when it had them.  They, with Roski's help, are going after any team they can get, and the Bills are on their short list. 

According to Roski's right hand man, John Semcken, Buffalo is "a terrible market for the NFL," and therefore a worthy target.  

I don't know about you, but those are fighting words to me.  Especially when Buffalo has kept and supported its franchise through good years and bad, and is enjoying another record year in season ticket sales.

Roski and his cronies are blatant about their arrogant expectations.  They expect to end up with two franchises playing in a proposed new $800 million stadium in the City of Industry, that Roski plans to build. (He also built the Staples Center, with partner Philip Anschutz, so he thinks he can do what various others have failed to do in southern California, where at least three previous stadium projects were killed.)

They expect both franchises to make the playoffs because, "both teams will be so rich," and they can guarantee the postseason ticket.

Would someone please introduce these people to Jerry Jones and George Steinbrenner, to name a couple of fat cat owners who learned the hard way that the bank account doesn't make competitive success automatic?

In fact, fans of the NFL had better hope NFL success will never come with nothing more than a price tag, or it will be the beginning of the end for the storied league.

The very product Roski presumes to offer the City of Angels and Demons gains its value from parity, from the fact that the expression "on any given Sunday any team can defeat any other team" is not a cliche.  Should he be able to steal two franchises from smaller markets and buy league dominance, he will end up with worthless properties, killed by their own success.

But that's the LA mentality, isn't it?  It's new money arrogance.  It's civic narcissism.  It's the bully on the beach stealing the body board from the nerdy kid because he can.

We have a message for Mr. Roski: Remember the Braves?

"The Who? The What?" most Angelenos would respond.  Of course, they don't have a clue.

The NBA franchise that enjoyed more collective success in eight seasons in Buffalo than the subsequent thirty seasons in southern California (all but four in LA) was originally known as the Braves.  That is a closely guarded secret on the part of the current ownership.  The franchise chooses not to celebrate it's most prolific and successful players, Bob McAdoo and Randy Smith, because they realize at some deep level that L.A. has no legitimate claim on that history. 

The youthful but legendary team was kidnapped and raised among strangers, as the stepchild in a market dominated by the Lakers (another team ripped from their northern, small-market roots).

But Mr. Roski and anyone else in greater Los Angeles who might consider joining his cause to uproot the Bills, needs to read Bill Simmons' recent ESPN.com article about the curse of Buffalo on the Clippers.  If they think they have it bad now, wait until they try to disembowel another animal sacred to native tribes.  That could be enough to make California finally break off and float out to sea.

That being said, Buffalonians and Buffalo expats everywhere must heed the California drumbeat even now.  The Buffalo hunters are at it again and we must nip it in the bud.

As everyone knows, the best defense is a good offense.  Therefore, we can best protect the Bills by winning back the Braves.  We'll show Roski and those overly tanned beach bullies that Buffalo is indeed a good place for a franchise—NFL, NHL, NBA, and it's all-out war, now, baby!

But what does winning back the Braves have to do with the Bills?  If you've read my Brave-Throat articles, you know exactly what.  The curse of the Buffalo, as Simmons so insightfully observed, is at work in L.A.  But it is also at work in Buffalo.

You may have noticed my previous articles about a visit I received from the ghost of Phil Ranallo, posing as Brave-Throat until revealing his true identity.

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