I've noticed no-one on B/R does a team of the week, so being the humble man that I am, I decided only I was great and intelligent enough be able to fill this gaping void, apparently using the same technology as Garth Crooks does on the BBC.
It's a co-incidence, I swear.
Anyway, the opening weekend was one for the strikers, with no game ending in a draw for the first time in 29 years and 24 goals scored across 10 games. With Arsenal contributing a quarter of those in their 6-1 routing of Everton at Goodison Park.
Goalkeeper: Shay Given (Man City)
Manchester City was a team with absolute confidence on the ball when going forward on Saturday. They were quick, technical and always had purpose in their play.
It's a pity their defence seemed to miss that particular team talk. Shay Given earns a nomination for keeping Blackburn goalless.
Defence: Assou-Ekotto (Tot), Vermaelen (Ars), Bassong (Tot)
North London makes up the entire defence this week, all of them goalscorers.
Vermaelen got off to a dream start with Arsenal, scoring on his debut and even better for Gunners fans, he was solid at the back.
Bassong and Assou-Ekotto find themselves into the team this week by also managing to hold a Liverpool side featuring Gerrard and Torres.
Midfield: Ireland (Man City), Barry (Man City), Fabregas (Ars), Wright-Phillips (Man City)
Man City make up most of the midfield, although using Mark Hughes' system, they should probably be playing above the strikers.
Fabregas certainly earns a place in the centre of the park after netting himself two goals and an assist.
Stikers: Van Persie (Ars), Drogba (Che), Rodallega (Wig)
Van Persie, although not a goalscorer, was the creator of two Arsenal goals.
Drogba managed to save his team against Hull, if somewhat luckily. Bit if there's one thing Chelsea can be certain of, it's his dominance when playing at home.
Rodallega makes the grade for the great effort put in against Villa, topped of with THAT goal.
Honourable Mentions/Subs Bench:
Kirkland (Wig), Gallas (Ars), Gomez (Wig), Noble (W Ham), Bent (Sunderland), Usain Bolt (Out of this World)