Open Mic: Arlen Specter Is A Moron!

After finding out how much of a compulsive liar Matt Walsh truly is, we all figured that Spygate was officially over. Unfortunately, someone didn't give Mr. Pennsylvania Needledick the memo. Everyone, join me in calling Senator Arlen Specter a dumbass!

For months, we all have had to deal with the wrath of the deception brought forth by the New England Patriots. For months, we heard the rumors of the "secret" tapes that Walsh claims he had to bring down the empire known as Belichick-lot. When it looked like we were about to focus on next season, this no talent assclown decides that destroying the Patriots is more important than saving our country.

After the case was about to be closed by Goodell Castro, Specter decided that he wanted an "independent" investigation into the tactics of the Patriots. When Tom Brady and Randy Moss were getting ready for training camp, and Darth Belichick was preparing for his next reign of as the NFL's Sith Lord, this wannabe Jedi is attempting to use the Force for his own personal gain.

Is it just coincidence that a policitican from Pennsylvania is having a cow about this? Is it also coincidence that no one else is throwing out objections like a stripper in Vegas? I find it odd that the man who happens to be a Senator of a state that contains the Eagles is upset about the Patriots.

We all know that the Patriots screwed up in the past. We all know about the penalties that were levied because of it. We all know that this was mainly because of Mangini and the Jets, escalated with Flatiron Mike and the Rams, then taken a step further with the reject from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" Walsh.

But it's time for Specter to move on and forget about the saga known as "The Beanpot." Everyone else is, but he is still dragging this big steaming pile of BS through the mud. With that being said, I have released this official statement.

"The State of the NFL is in shambles due to this unforgettable controversy. The League has in fact attempted to punish the parties involved. Unfortunately, we have outside sources that have forced us to continue through this retarded situation. We do not support Mr. Specter in his decision to continue the investigation. In the event that he does find something that we didn't, we will most likely have it imploded and have Specter sent to Antarctica for his ignorance."

With that being said, Mr. Specter, you are a moron. Get over it and move on. You probably don't even know what a football looks like, you goofy looking guppy.