Give the NBA a 'Cash for Clunkers' Reboot

Joe CCorrespondent IAugust 15, 2009

Whether you believe Barack Obama is the second coming of Karl Marx or not, you have to admit that 'Cash for Clunkers' has been a success.

Since NBA commissioner David Stern admitted that over half of the teams in the NBA failed to make a profit last season, I believe it's time to give NBA teams new life.
Is my idea ridiculous? Most likely. Could it actually work? Probably. Did I conjure up this idea while I was drunk? Definitely.
My idea is pretty simple, give each team a mulligan on one player's contract. Allow the team to release the player without any cap penalty. The NBA would cover the difference between the player's old yearly salary and his new one with his new team as long as the player keeps playing in the NBA. You could even give this specific group of players a name, like the Roofies, because their former teams want to forget they ever existed.
You know teams would love it, they would increase cap space and choose to save it or use it on the new influx of free agents. They could even install this idea right at the end of the 2010 season, which would be like making an already exciting 2010 offseason shotgun a Red Bull.
Supreme Chancellor Stern would allow it, because even though the NBA would have to cover the difference in salary for the Roofies, the difference itself probably will be managable because there aren't too many players that are drastically overpaid in the NBA.
Of course, the real reason Stern would allow it is the fact that all the new signings would create fan excitement and would subsequently lead to an increase in ticket and jersey sales. The NBA could end up profiting from this move. I'm not so crazy anymore am I.
There could even be fun little twists like if a team uses their newfound money to sign a player with a higher efficiency (PER) rating, the NBA could bestow upon the team an OLE, a Once in a Lifetime Exception, to sign even more players or increase the amount they can offer to a free agent.
Imagine all the possibilities:
Zach Randolph could finally be put out of his misery.
Mark Cuban could overpay for several crappy centers in the same offseason to finally create the tallest starting lineup in the NBA.
Quentin Richardson could be a possible Roofie. He wouldn't have to switch teams more often than Lindsay Lohan, he could finally control his fate and choose which team he wants to get traded away from.
The Sixers could get rid of Elton Brand, who is a worse fit than Rush Limbaugh on NFL Countdown. This is secretly the main reason I came up with the idea in the first place.
The teams that could be in contention to sign Lebron James could balloon into the double digits. Couldn't you imagine Lebron James touring the country visiting team after team like a rock star? ESPN could even follow him and call it 30 days of Lebron. This would be better than the normal abortions ESPN puts on tv in the summer (I'm looking in your direction, Who's Now and Titletown USA).
Yes, I know my idea will never happen but I can't help but dream of a commercial going, "The NBA, where literally anything can happen".