Super Bowl Halftime Show 2015: Review of Katy Perry Performance

In case you missed the lawless, burning-disco-atop-Big-Rock-Candy-Mountain bonanza that was Katy Perry's Super Bowl XLIX halftime show, join me for a brief review of the madness.

The following is a cold, clinical and completely non-objective rundown of Perry's show, which sprung from humble beginnings in the form of Perry riding a giant lion-golem across the field.

Fansided GIFs crafted some Vines of the occasion.

Christopher Polk/Getty Images

And not just a standard-issue lion—a lion operated by ninjas.

Also, Perry was wearing fire.

Then Perry transitioned to a chessboard of razor-edged automatons, because stone-faced chess people are "in" right now.

Lenny Kravitz arrived shortly thereafter, playing guitar licks to Perry's "I Kissed a Girl."

From there, Perry transitioned back to the beach, singing sharks and caroling fauna. Note: Bipedal sharks are the nightmare of evolution that will end us all.

Rob Carr/Getty Images

Shoutout to the live human beings moving the waves.

After this came Missy Elliott, who bum-rushed the stage and taught Perry some things about owning the Dance Dance Revolution floor. I can't decide if "Work It" or "Lose Control" (love to Fatman Scoop) was the highlight of Elliott's set.

Perry's coup de grace was "Firework," which she sang from atop a flying "The More You Know" star.

David J. Phillip/Associated Press

At long last, we're using drones for good, America.

Now for the grading.

Vocals: B+

Live music is hard, especially when you're dealing with something of the magnitude and scope of a Katy Perry Super Bowl Halftime Show. 

Perry didn't butcher any lines, but there were times when she quavered through some high parts.

Showmanship: A+

I used the phrase "Katy Perry Super Bowl Halftime Show" earlier because this show set a new, wildly absurd bar for effects.

Between the lion, the flying star, the chessboards and Missy-Freaking-Elliott jacket change, Perry's performance was grander in scope than anything seen in recent Super Bowl halftime memory. 

Guest Appearance: A 

Missy Elliott started a bit low but gained momentum. She didn't blow Perry off the stage and managed to bring a number of bloggers in their late 20s and early 30s back to drinking Bud Light in their parents' basement.

Overall: A

This was a spectacular halftime show. I had my reservations after Bruno Mars left nothing but scorched earth after last year's show, but Perry lived up to the hype. We'll only get better if Kanye and Paul McCartney take over next year.

Dan is on the Twitters, judging every last moment of tonight.