Late last week, I got an e-mail from NASCAR.com entitled “Fast and Fabulous: NASCAR lifestyle, insight, and recipes for the female fan.”
C'mon, really?
It was filled with links to great recipe ideas and a full page spread about “NASCAR’s most eligible bachelor,” Tony Stewart.
I am betting with 100-percent certainty that the male fans of NASCAR were not privy to this type of absurdity.
The more I thought about it, the more laughable it seemed. Just who does NASCAR think they are—trying to buy me with their pink baby-doll driver tees and glittery tank tops?
Sure there will always be women at the track donning ill fitting t-shirts with iron-on messages like “Mrs. Lil E” or “Driver Butts Drive Me Nuts,” but for the majority of female fans, we’re just like the rest of you, only prettier!
Statistics show that NASCAR’s female fanbase is nearing 50-percent, but the sport itself is still perceived by many as a “boy's club.”
Being a knowledgeable female fan at the track is much like being a lone mare in the middle of a stud farm.
Men have it pretty darn easy when it comes to attending a race—throw on some shoes, pants, and an optional shirt and you’re good to go. The fairer sex has to worry about all of the sugar and spice and everything nice that goes along with being a woman.
There are countless websites out there that cater to the female fan, providing tips for your day at the track. They answer the burning questions, like what the best waterproof mascara is to wear to the track to prevent your “eyes” from melting down your face in the summer sun, or just how many tampons to bring to the track.
Hey guys, have you ever thought about packing some antibacterial wipes to clean the toilet seats with before sitting down on it, or adding your “in case of emergency” number into your cell phone just in case you meet with certain danger?
Seriously, how many of you have carried a small bottle of hairspray on your person so that you can “fluff up your hair” when the hat comes off, or some antiperspirant so that you can “freshen up” during caution flags?
This is what women are fed all the time: “a girl has always gotta look good!” Give me jeans, a t-shirt, flip flops, and a baseball cap any day. It’s a stock car race for God sake, not a freaking fashion show!
There will always be that girl who makes the rest of us look bad; you know the one. She’s had way too much to drink, and during a caution will stand up and flash the entire race day community.
The instant gratification is astounding, as people will take notice. There will be a lot of cat-calling and a handful of “hell yeahs,” but ultimately, in the end, it is her drunk ass who gets escorted out in a shiny pair of designer handcuffs.
Way to represent ladies!
Yes, at times being a girl at the race is like being that sweet little black feline who is stalked by smelly ol’ Pepe Le Pew.
"Ze arms of Pepe are upon you, I am ze captain, and you are ze first mate. Promotions will follow quickly!"
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