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Kenny Williams: The Godfather of Baseball

CHICAGO - APRIL 2:  General manager Kenny Williams of the Chicago White Sox speaks to the media before the opening day game against the Cleveland Indians on April 2, 2007 at U.S. Cellular Field in Chicago, Illinois.  The Indians defeated the White Sox 12-5.  (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
Aaron GuestContributor IAugust 11, 2009

The year is 2014, the Sox have won their 5th consecutive title. The man responsible— Kenny Williams.

"Kenny! How did you do it? How did you manage to put together a team that won 5 World Series in a row?" asked the Interviewer.

"Well," Kenny answered, "It began when I started making big moves. I made just a few big moves and everyone started clamoring about them, so I made some more and more. People couldn't stop raving about all the big moves I was making. I kept making big moves after big moves until I couldn't help myself. I became addicted to it, addicted to the power!"

The Interviewer replied, "It's incredible really. No other manager in history has made as many or as big the moves as you have. After you landed Jake Peavy and Alex Rios in one season is when the public first started recognizing your skill."

"And what skill is that?" Williams said with a smirk, as if he already knew the answer!

"You have the stones to make any deal! It seems like no matter who you want, you not only get him, but you get him for next to nothing! I mean, you not only landed Peavy and Rios in one season, but you managed to get Hanley Ramirez, Ian Kinsler, Matt Holliday, and Zack Grienke over the next few years as well. All for next to nothing !", the Interviewer said as he looked confused, struggling to find an answer.

"Well, lets just say I have a certain ability to... finesse...the other GM's into making deals." Kenny said with a smirk again on his face.

"And what exactly do you do to 'finesse' them?" the Interviewer asks.

"I could tell you," Kenny replied with a serious face, "but then I would have to kill you!"

At this point, Kenny stands up and begins to walk away.

"Some call you the Godfather of Baseball..." the Interviewer said with hesitation, "Is it true?"

Kenny stops, turns toward the Interviewer and puts on a pair of shades. "Yes!"

Kenny turns back around and walks out of the room, on his way he tells two men in suit-coats, "Why, don't you go 'finesse' him!"

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