A Montreal Canadiens' Fan Guide: Cheering for Another Team in the Finals

With the Habs out of the race for Lord Stanley's Cup, I had a decision to make.

Usually when my team doesn’t make the playoffs, no matter the sport, I choose a “backup” to root for. I’ve been pretty lucky thus far: LSU won the BCS Championship, the Giants beat the Perfect Pats in Super Bowl 42 (The Giants are actually my backup team since the Saints couldn’t be bothered to go marching anywhere last season), the Yankees - too early to tell but seriously guys, Tampa Bay?!? You used to beat them up and steal their lunch money at recess! What happened?

But now I’m in a pickle. With hockey it’s different. As a Montrealer, Canadian Citizen and all around lover of Mike Komisarek (mostly because it took me about 7 years to correctly spell his name) it’s hard to think of even saying the moniker of another NHL team without attaching “sucks” at the end of their name like a cancerous suffix.

A careful process of elimination must be used to select a team worthy of having a one night stand with.

Will Dallas make me breakfast in the morning?

Can Philadelphia fulfill my needs?

How much fun can I have with Pittsburgh?

Is Detroit gonna buy me drinks?

Here are 5 questions Canadiens fans can ask in order to figure out which team to temporarily cheer for and not feel guilty. The Habs’ll forgive you.

 1)      What does their name represent?

-Stars are giant balls of light that do something in the atmosphere. Living in a big, polluted city I have not seen a star in approximately 17 years.

-What the hell is a Flyer? A plane? A bird? The team used to be called the Philadelphia Quakers. I’d prefer that since I am a big believer in oatmeal for breakfast.

-Penguins are like totally cute. If I wasn’t allergic to animals and it was legal to keep a penguin as a pet I’d definitely get one.

-Red Wings, something to do with cars. I’m bored already.

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