Judge Judy to Senator Arlen Specter: Sit Down and Shut Up, the NFL Doesn't Care

Matt Walsh and Roger Goodell had their meeting, the Boston Herald apologized for publishing a false story, and the New England Patriots are now looking towards the 2008 season.

You'd think that SpyGate can be put to rest. 

Not so fast, says Arlen Specter.

In a move that has the entire sports world groaning and wishing congress would just back off and stick to their own business (national debt, international conflict, and Roger Clemens sitting outside recording studios in a white, unmarked, delivery van), Arlen Specter is taking matters into his own hands—or at least trying to.

Despite the fact that Goodell stated that there were no new infractions committed by the Patriots after viewing the footage Walsh presented, Specter insists that action should still be taken against the Patriots.

Specter was so insulted by the NFL's attempts to amend the situation (or "cover it up," in his opinion) he was forced to use the word "pooh-poo" in an interview.

Now that's a man who was offended. 

The fact that Specter's ramblings were ignored by the NFL forced him to seek outside help from television arbitrator Judge Judith Sheindlin. When confronting her on his best course of action, Judge Judy passed on some sage advice that she's given to many of her accused and plaintiffs.

"Sit down and shut up. No one's talking to you right now."

Specter did not take kindly to the advice, but Sheindlin was adamant that this was his best course of action, and the best advice she could offer him at this point in time.

"That and I'm from New York," she said. "I hate Texas, why would I help a Senator named after a city there?"

Despite his failed attempts, Specter remains committed to holding a "Mitchell Report-esque" investigation into the illegal filming, if only to find out that Jimmy Johnson, Terry Bradshaw, and Dan Marino were right and that this kind of cheating is quite common place.

Although no date has been set, Specter has told Americans to rest assured that this will "cost a lot of money, which could probably be better spent in other areas. However, it's important that we are able to alter the results of football games from six years ago. These are the kinds of things today's society is concerned with and need to have happen so we can move forward together." 

Aside from any and all footage that the Patriots used of opposing playcallers, Specter is demanding tape of every one of the Belichick's childrens' birthdays, as well as demanding that Tom Brady's parents surrender the tape of his high school graduation, in hopes that Bill Cowher will be directing his offense somewhere in the background.

I guess when you're Arlen Specter, you can never be too careful.