Big Papi Did Roids? Tell Me It Ain't So?!

David MaystrovskyContributor IJuly 30, 2009

BOSTON - JULY 30:  Designated hitter David Ortiz #34 of the Boston Red Sox jogs to home plate after hitting a three-run home run against the Oakland A's in the seventh inning to give the Red Sox a 6-5 lead on July 30, 2009 at Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts.  (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

With the news that Big Papi tested positive for PED's in the infamous 2003 "secret test" the MLB has to officially go into damage control. Someone needs to get a hold of that list (perhaps by illegal means) and just publish it, for everyone to see.

One could express shock at the fact that Daivd Ortiz was named, and certainly he has some explaining to do. But perhaps a bigger question is how dumb is Manny? Is he officially the stupidest athlete we've ever seen?

Surely someone must've told him that he was on that list. Even if they didn't, once the "strict" testing policy was enforced, he must've felt some pause. Doesn't ring a bell, Manny? 

In addition to the 50-game ban (really only a 40-game ban because he got to play in the minors) and now this news coming out about him testing positive, I'm almost certain that Manny Ramirez will not be voted into the Hall of Fame.

And Ortiz?

Even before this fiasco, he was a borderline candidate at best, needing at least three more years of 30+ home run production to be in the conversation. Now there's a better chance of me stealing Gisele from Brady than Ortiz being a member of Cooperstown.

Whoever has the list of names is making sure that each released name is causing a big reaction, although over time the reaction will grow smaller.

Plus, how many more superstars are on that list?

Can someone test Pujols tonight just to make sure we have one clean superstar?

In fact, test Jeter while you're at it.

What a pathetic situation this has turned into. Baseball is the one sport that cannot allow outside distractions to mar the sport.

One-hundred-and-sixty-two games is a long season and sometimes people will gravitate towards the scandals rather than the play on the field.

Selig, you are screwed.