Is Fedor Emilianenko Challenging Dana White?

Dorothy WillisSenior Writer IJuly 30, 2009

Could it be? Would the Russian dare to challenge the head honcho of the UFC?

Yeah, I think Fedor Emilianenko would and already has done just that.

Why would this 63-year-old grandmother of six possibly think such a brash thought?

Well, simply because I believe that Emilianenko has a fine sense of irony, just like I do.

Dealing with a dictator on the dictator's own terms simply would not be appealing to me at all.

I would want to tweak his cheeks a little, challenge his terms and refuse to deal until I had made him retract his demands, and then rubbed his face in the fact that I challenged his "authority" and he had to back down.

What a joy that would be, to hold one of the business world's largest tyrants in the palm of my hand.

Heady feeling, isn't it, Fedor?

Dana White, unlike Emilianenko, who is a very humble man, has an enormous ego which he loves to have stroked by his UFC fighters. Imagine having world-class champion fighters bowing to your every demand, unreasonable or not.

"I am Dana White, fear my wrath! Sell me your soul, sign away the rights to your very name and image, acquiesce to my every whim or hit the road of UFC banishment! Just dare to defy the Master of MMA. the savior of the UFC organizations, I double dawg dare you!"

To which the Russian replies, "Nyet." No exclamation point, just "nyet." Simple as that.

White and the UFC thought there was a price on every man, that their millions would buy anything.

Not so, replied the humble Russian.

White "does not do cross promotions."

Emilianenko demands a cross promotion, with M-1 Global or no dice, to King Dana of the UFC and the Fertittas of Station Casino fame.

White will forever banish any fighter from the UFC who signs with EA, and Emilianenko signs with EA as their new cover boy.

What now, Dana?

You offered your adversary the keys to the kingdom to no avail. What will you do to further tempt him? Go back on your word and agree to a cross promotion? Throw five million per fight at him? Will you stoop to hiring a man who just definitely signed with your EA rival?

How low will you go, Dana? Or has your patience completely worn out?

This is a scrumptious feast, after seeing Dana turn down a fight with Affliction's "T-shirt gut" Tom Attencio, when challenged to a fight in the cage.

Ah, sweet revenge.

White eats crow, and the Russian eats two scoops of his favorite ice cream and chases it with a fine shot of vodka.

Did I mention that Fedor owns 20% of the organization he fights for--Dana should be impressed.