Counter Attack: John Madden Boycotts T.J. Houshmandzadeh [Humor]
Houshmandzadeh's point of contention with Madden 10 centers on his player rating, which he believes should be higher. Despite the fact that Housh is the sixth-highest rated NFC receiver in the game, behind a list of superstars, Houshmandzadeh maintains that he has no plans to play the game.
In an unprecedented move, famed sportscaster John Madden announced on Thursday that he intends to counter Houshmandzadeh's actions by boycotting the receiver himself.
"T.J. Houshmandzadeh wants to come out and boycott my game," Madden told reporters at a press conference Tuesday morning, "I take offense to that, and I think video game players do too."
When asked about a possible meeting with Houshmandzadeh, Madden laughed it off and suggested another alternative.
"I don't want to speak with [Houshmandzadeh]. He has made his opinion of me and my video game clear." Madden said calmly. "Now all I can do is return the favor."
Madden says he isn't certain how to go about boycotting an NFL player, but he is certain that he will figure it out shortly.
"You know, when players get on TV and all that and talk to the reporters, it just is good for the game. But T.J., he is not doing that."
One reporter responded to this statement by simply asking, "What?" To which Madden responded:
"It's all about the game of football, guys, and when T.J. Houshmanzinger is out there insulting the game of football he is out there insulting the game."
When asked to elaborate on his boycotting strategy, Madden provided the media with a unique insight into the mind of Madden. Here is a direct excerpt:
Reporter: How exactly do you plan to boycott an NFL player?
Madden: You know, with the usual boycotting ways. He says he isn’t going to play my game, and heh heh heh, I won’t play my game either. And I won’t play his game.
Reporter: Could you elaborate on what game you’re talking about?
Madden: Sure. You know T.J. is a good player, and he plays a lot of games in football, ya know, and he jukes and dives and BOOM! And if he is going to play the game of boycott then, ya know, he can play and I can play that game too.
Reporter: Yes, but how do you plan to boycott the player himself?
Madden: By not buying his jersey or, uh, watching him on TV and looking at his, uh, stats and that page. It’s simple, I think.
Reporter: What advice would you have for T.J. to end this feud?
Madden: I would tell T.J. to play the game, ya know, and whatever he wants to do he can get together and say to himself ‘I’m gonna play that game’ and him and me and John Madden football will be alright, and...(inaudible mumbling)...Brett Favre would take it one day at a time.
It is unclear how Madden’s strategy will pan out, but his resolve seems strong.
Houshmandzadeh was unavailable for comment, but his agent, Kennard McGuire, said that his client had to first figure out what John Madden was talking about before a response would be issued.
Note: In case you had not caught on, this is a work of fiction. All quotes are fabricated and the plot has no factual basis.
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