The Non Stop History Of The Brett Favre Saga [Humor]

Dave SmithCorrespondent IJuly 27, 2009

I read an article from Norman Chad about the on going Brett Favre saga. I found it quite humorous, and I think you will to.

It's about how reporters and Favre won't give up. The news keeps coming and coming. Here's the long history of reports we've been getting from day one.

• Favre tearfully announces his retirement at Green Bay press conference.

• Favre says a possible comeback is all "rumor."

• Favre calls Packers coach Mike McCarthy and tells him he will stay retired.

• Favre sees NBC's Peter King at Starbucks, buys him a grande caffe mocha and tells him he definitely is retiring.

• Favre wants to come to Packers training camp.

• Favre is traded to the New York Jets.

• Favre calls NBC's Peter King during halftime of the Jets-Bills game and tells him he will retire at the end of the third quarter.

• Favre completes season with the Jets, then announces retirement again.

• Favre asks Jets to release him just in case he wants to sign with another team.

• Favre calls NBC's Peter King and tells him he's retiring for at least five days, maybe longer.

• Favre gets arthroscopic surgery on his right shoulder while looking at carpet swatches for his pool room.

• Favre walks into CVS and buys Ben Gay.

• Scrambling for a parking spot at Home Depot, Favre throws his car up for grabs.

• ESPN's Ed Werder reports Favre was rubbing his right arm while dining at Applebee's in Clinton, Miss.

• Favre walks onto the set of "SportsCenter" and tells Neil Everett he can retire again that evening if they are having a slow news day.

• ESPN's John Clayton reports Favre has six fingers on his right (throwing) hand and five fingers on his left (non-throwing) hand.

• ESPN's Ed Werder reports Favre has five fingers on his right (throwing) hand and six fingers on his left (non-throwing) hand.

• Favre goes on HBO's "Joe Buck Live" and shows he has five fingers on each hand, but says he hasn't thrown a football in four months.

• ESPN's John Clayton reports that Ed Werder was on the phone with Sal Paolantonio while he was leaving a voice mail for Favre.

• ESPN's Chris Mortensen confirms Charles Lindbergh's baby has been kidnapped. Favre, house-hunting in Eden Prairie, runs into one of his errant passes from December '03 Packers-at-Vikings game.

• Brett Favre's Steakhouse in Green Bay changes its menu for the third time in 16 months.

• Favre switches from DirecTV to Dish TV.

• Favre, casting out for walleye in Little Sioux, Iowa, overthrows lake.

• Favre calls John Madden and tries to talk him out of retirement.

• Fox's Jay Glazer reports Favre is lifting weights that Glazer gave him.

• NBC's Peter King spills coffee on his notes from his most recent phone conversation with Favre.

• Favre tells a close friend he doesn't think he wants to wear pants any more.

• Favre walks away from Wrangler, begins discreet talks with Dockers.

• At monthly Retirees Anonymous meeting, Favre aggravates arm injury exchanging playful punches with Sugar Ray Leonard.

• ESPN reports Favre is talking to the Dalai Lama about a consulting position.

• Favre practices Hamlet's Act Three, Scene 1 soliloquy.

• Favre calls Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, asks operator if players can be inducted while still active.

• Favre fills out application for Greenpeace.

• Favre cancels life insurance, gambling he might live forever.

• Favre and wife Deanna discuss renewing vows, but he puts its off until shoulder is fully healed.

• Vikings officials watch Favre throw for 15 minutes at local high school.

• Vikings officials watch Favre parallel park for five minutes at local barbershop.

• Vikings officials watch Favre throw off the media for 45 minutes.

• Favre spurns Vikings, signs deal to split time between L.A. Galaxy and AC Milan.

That is what we're basically hearing 24-7 about Favre. This isn't even close to the end.

I think that the whole thing is annoying and we should only hear one report and that is when he's actually coming back.

But for more on Favre, ESPN will happy to give you an update whenever he's ready for more attention.

Thanks for reading!