Bill Parcells Makes Another Call To Al Davis

Al's WingmanAnalyst IJuly 27, 2009

DAVIE, FL - JUNE 06:  Executive Vice President of Football Operations Bill Parcells watches practice on during Miami Dolphins Mini Camp on June 6, 2008 at the Dolphins practice facility in Davie, Florida.  (Photo by Marc Serota/Getty Images)

Waiter: "Would you like anything else, sir?"


Bill Parcells: "No, thanks. I'm about dish out some humble pie to an old friend, though."


Jeff Ireland: "C'mon Bill, I'm too full for gloating over Al Davis. It's 8 o'clock at night;he's probably in bed sleeping anyway."


Bill: "You're right, Jeff."


Tony Sparano: "What else are we going to do now that we've finished eating dinner?"


Jeff: "How 'bout we talk about the upcoming season?"


Bill: "Nah, let's call Al."


(Bill takes out his cell phone and puts it on speaker.)


[deep voice answers]


"Hello, Al Davis' cell phone."


Bill: "Yeah, I'd like to speak with Al, this is Bill Parcells."


Deep voice: "Mr. Davis is indisposed at the moment."


Bill: "Is he on the toilet?"


Deep voice: "Yes."


Bill: "Maybe you can relay the conversation."


Al's voice in the background: "Who the hell is that on the phone?"


Deep voice: "It's Bill Parcells. He wants to ask you some questions."


Al's voice in the background: "Tell him I'm busy."


Deep voice: "He says..."


Bill: "Yeah, I heard him. Ask him what a strong safety is supposed to do."


Deep voice: "Bill would like to know what a strong safety is supposed to do."


Al: "I don't have time for this. He knows damn well what a strong safety does. Gimme that phone."


Bill: "I was just wondering why you gave up on Gibril Wilson. He made something like 120 tackles last season for you."


Al: "Listen, I don't have to justify that to you. We’ve got two young guys playing for us at strong safety that we feel will become great."


Bill: "I was just curious what you were thinking. Your young guys have little-to-no NFL experience. We're paying Gibril quite a bit of money to do what he did for you last year, so we think you made a mistake."


Al: "Well, because you're a friend, I'll tell you why we got rid of him. He was one of the guys who backed Lane Kiffin."


Bill: "Such nerve."


Al: "Exactly. Let me tell you something else. I wasn't about to let the Bears snap up Mike Mitchell in the draft. He is destined for greater things in silver and black, not black and orange."


Tony: "I think the Bears wear navy blue and orange."


Al: "Who the hell is that?"


Bill: “Well, Al, I hope for your sake that's true what you say about Mitchelll. He's a good prospect. My only point is your run-stopping is going to need veteran help. You would think keeping a guy around who can tackle would be a good thing, set an example for the younger guys."


Al: "We don't need any malcontents in our locker room."


Bill: "Well now that he's playing for a winning team, maybe he won't be a malcontent."


Al: "We'll be a winning team this season. You mark my words wise guy."


Bill: "Could be, could be. That's too bad we don't play you this season."


Al: "There's always the playoffs."


Bill: "True. Well Al, good luck with your young guys at safety. We'll take the proven commodity."


Al: "Is what you called about? Jeez, don't you guys have anything better to do?"


Bill: "Mmmm, not really. All right Al, take care, we'll talk again soon."



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