Waiter: "Would you like anything else, sir?"
Bill Parcells: "No, thanks. I'm about dish out some humble pie to an old friend, though."
Jeff Ireland: "C'mon Bill, I'm too full for gloating over Al Davis. It's 8 o'clock at night;he's probably in bed sleeping anyway."
Bill: "You're right, Jeff."
Tony Sparano: "What else are we going to do now that we've finished eating dinner?"
Jeff: "How 'bout we talk about the upcoming season?"
Bill: "Nah, let's call Al."
(Bill takes out his cell phone and puts it on speaker.)
[deep voice answers]
"Hello, Al Davis' cell phone."
Bill: "Yeah, I'd like to speak with Al, this is Bill Parcells."
Deep voice: "Mr. Davis is indisposed at the moment."
Bill: "Is he on the toilet?"
Deep voice: "Yes."
Bill: "Maybe you can relay the conversation."
Al's voice in the background: "Who the hell is that on the phone?"
Deep voice: "It's Bill Parcells. He wants to ask you some questions."
Al's voice in the background: "Tell him I'm busy."
Deep voice: "He says..."
Bill: "Yeah, I heard him. Ask him what a strong safety is supposed to do."
Deep voice: "Bill would like to know what a strong safety is supposed to do."
Al: "I don't have time for this. He knows damn well what a strong safety does. Gimme that phone."
Bill: "I was just wondering why you gave up on Gibril Wilson. He made something like 120 tackles last season for you."
Al: "Listen, I don't have to justify that to you. We’ve got two young guys playing for us at strong safety that we feel will become great."
Bill: "I was just curious what you were thinking. Your young guys have little-to-no NFL experience. We're paying Gibril quite a bit of money to do what he did for you last year, so we think you made a mistake."
Al: "Well, because you're a friend, I'll tell you why we got rid of him. He was one of the guys who backed Lane Kiffin."
Bill: "Such nerve."
Al: "Exactly. Let me tell you something else. I wasn't about to let the Bears snap up Mike Mitchell in the draft. He is destined for greater things in silver and black, not black and orange."
Tony: "I think the Bears wear navy blue and orange."
Al: "Who the hell is that?"
Bill: “Well, Al, I hope for your sake that's true what you say about Mitchelll. He's a good prospect. My only point is your run-stopping is going to need veteran help. You would think keeping a guy around who can tackle would be a good thing, set an example for the younger guys."
Al: "We don't need any malcontents in our locker room."
Bill: "Well now that he's playing for a winning team, maybe he won't be a malcontent."
Al: "We'll be a winning team this season. You mark my words wise guy."
Bill: "Could be, could be. That's too bad we don't play you this season."
Al: "There's always the playoffs."
Bill: "True. Well Al, good luck with your young guys at safety. We'll take the proven commodity."
Al: "Is what you called about? Jeez, don't you guys have anything better to do?"
Bill: "Mmmm, not really. All right Al, take care, we'll talk again soon."