Copying Off of Bill Simmons: Diary for Game One of White Sox Doubleheader

(Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

Today begins an extremely tough 13-game stretch for the White Sox in which they play four in Detroit, three in Minnesota, and then come home for three against the New York Yankees and three against the Los Angeles Angels. 

They come into today tied for first in the American League Central with the Detroit Tigers, whom they start a four-game series with, including a doubleheader, this afternoon.

Since I have some interesting things going through my head while watching White Sox games by myself, I decided to document it.

12:51 - Yep, I'm nearly an hour late.  I was busy doing my slave labor editing articles for The Bleacher Report, including some awesome ones about wrestling.  I miss the days of being obsessed with wrestling.

Anywho, we haven't missed a thing except Verlander throwing a lot of pitches, and I'm sure Hawk Harrelson complaining about some balls and strikes.  It is the bottom of the third and we are tied at 0. 

12:54 - Ratty Adam Everett, whom everyone but the White Sox knows how to get out, gets into third on a base hit by Curtis Granderson.  One out.

12:55 - Horrible throw by Jermaine Dye.  Everett scores on a sac fly. 1-0 Tigers.  Steve Stone doesn't understand why Granderson did not go into second on the throw. He seems to forget that Granderson will waltz into second on A.J. Pierzynski and Jose Contreras.

12:57 - Granderson steals second.

12:58 - Contreras gets Clete Thomas, one of the greatest names in baseball, to fly out. 1-0 Tigers after three.

12:59 - I would rather stab my eyes out than watch the Luna Carpet commercial. Freeee floooring.

1:00 - Miguel Cabrera makes a diving stab on Pierzynski, but throws it away.  Sox have stranded five runners, will they strand another? 

1:02 - It is really hard to do this without DVR.  I really need to move out of my parents' house. 

1:03 - I just realized Scott Podsednik is not playing.  I picked him up on a fantasy team solely for this doubleheader. 

1:03 - Hard hit double by Carlos Quentin.  Haven't seen that in awhile.  Men on second and third with no one out for Chris Getz.  Verlander has thrown more than 50 pitches with no outs in the fourth.

1:04 - Hawk doesn't appreciate a call and tells Getz to play pepper with the ball.

1:05 - Getz plays salt and pops up in the infield.  Runners don't budge.

1:06 - Gordon Beckham up.  Fantasy team (said in high-pitched voice).  He looks a lot like John Cena.

1:07 - Sac fly for Beckham and my fantasy team (the Feces-Throwing Apes), Pierzynski scores.  Quentin moves into third on the throw. 1-1.

1:08 - Dewayne Wise still has a piece of the center field wall on his face from last night.  (I have four text messages I haven't checked because the parents don't have DVR, so I can't stop typing...make that five text messages)

1:10 - Wise grounds out to Verlander. 1-1 going into the bottom of the fourth. 

1:11 - Three of my text messages were the same thing because my friend is mentally challenged.  Learn to use technology, Westy.  Don't you have a Blackberry?  Nothing hurts the ego more than when you hear your phone go off many times and it's the same message over and over.  John feels Thome's 0-for-11 slump with six strikeouts (five in his last six at bats) is because he hasn't been playing consistently.  That is a good analysis and a good point.  Thanks John, I'm sure you're reading this at work right now.   Pat texted me about the Cardinals getting Matt Holliday and how that will not be the reason the Cubs lose the division, which is correct.  The Cubs will lose the division because of Geovany Soto and Alfonso Soriano (injuries happen to every team, so that is no excuse).  Their pitching is too good to lose that division, yet, they are trying as hard as they can to do so.      

1:12 - Cabrera got faaaaaat (flicks wrist).

1:13 - Shot double for Cabrera.  Quentin has such a girly arm for such a scary man.

1:14 - Either Comerica is just that big or the White Sox outfield is just that bad.  Cabrera got to third on a fly out to Wise off the bat of Carlos Guillen.

1:16 - The White Sox fielding is just that bad.  Ryan Raburn put a ball in between Getz, Paul Konerko, and Dye, and he got a double off of it.  2-1 Tigers. 

1:18 - Hawk goes on a tangent about Brandon Inge having an upside. He's 32.

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