The 2009 Celebrity NFL Draft

Caleb R.Contributor IJuly 23, 2009

NEW YORK - APRIL 25:  NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell stands with Detroit Lions #1 draft pick Matthew Stafford at  Radio City Music Hall for the 2009 NFL Draft on April 25, 2009 in New York City  (Photo by Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images)

1. Detroit(0-16) WR Jonathan Davis, KoЯn. Finally, the Lions have a stand-out receiver from my NFL Street Team (The Lancers). And, believe me, he catches everything near him.
2. St. Louis(2-14) RB Beavis, Beavis And Butthead. Wow. THE BIGGEST ever surprise taken this high. Beavis completely flunked the I.Q. test and the drug test. So, why take the risk?
3. Kansas City(2-14) QB Sully Erna, Godsmack. Now, Matt Cassel may be good, but Erna was too good to pass up, now, here. He will bomb passes to all of Kansas City's star receivers. Oh, oops.
4. Seattle(4-12) FB Oprah, The Oprah Winfrey Show. Oprah is the highest fullback to ever go in the draft. Now, let's hope that she can back her title up.
5. Cleveland (4-12) RB Megan Fox, T.V.. Who cares? They made a smart choice here.
6. Cincinnati(4-11-1) WR Tom Cruise, T.V.. Cincinnati needs a lot of help, and hopefully, Tom Cruise can help them with his witchcraft.
7. Oakland (5-11) RB Paris Hilton, ????. Al Davis says that his team has a lot of needs and that Hilton should fix the biggest one. Wow, I actually agree with A.D., here.
8. Jacksonville(5-11) WR Michael Phelps, Swimming. Serioously? Phelps didn't go friggin' first. He's a complete beast, out there.
9. Green Bay(6-10) OL Josey Scott, Saliva. Yes, he's a dude, that, for some reason, is just a nickname for him. So, finally, the best offensive lineman goes. And, luckily, as he said in ClickClickBoom. You won't hear no cryin' *** b*thcin' from me (him), like there seems to be on everbody's C.D..
10. San Francisco(7-9) RB Butthead, Beavis And Butthead. So, the other running back from this dream-team running back attack goes. Good luck.