"Doodoodaloo doodoodaloo Doodoodaloo doodoodaloo..."

That was my best attempt at kicking off a dream sequence similar to that of Wayne's World.

   I have found myself being involved in conversations with my friends that sound something like this: "Hey man, did you see the fight the other night? Yea bro, that was brutal, St. Pierre ran a clinic on Alves. Yea man...If you would have told me that St. Pierre (we refer to fighters by their last names for some reason) would destroy Alves like that before the fight, I would have said no way. Fo sho' fo sho', Alves just looks more game than St. Pierre...I thought he had the eye of the tiger, he just looks like a bad dude. Yea, I know what you mean, if I saw St. Pierre in a bar with his suit on, I wouldn't think much of him...but Alves man, that guy just looks like a guy with a face that says 'I eat knuckle sandwiches for a living.'"

Ever done that before?

Stop for a second and think about the consequences of sizing up a guy like Georges St. Pierre in a bar with his Gucci suit on and making that mistake. It would be the equivalent of tripping on drugs and hugging a rabid grizzly with the notion that all bears are just big teddies.

When I look at guys involved in MMA, there are mean looking guys and unassuming looking guys. The problem here prompted an age old saying: "Never judge a book by its cover."

I think the guy who created that little quip was probably sitting somewhere in the Ancient Greek club one night, toga waving in the breeze, drinking a little too much, and playing the "Who In Here Could I Thump" game. He probably just came from a gladiator fight and was feeling amped. I don't think it had anything to do with books. That ancient Greek philosopher probably looked around the room, saw a St. Pierre looking guy and said "I can take him."

For some reason, every fighter (in boxing and in MMA) has some nickname. Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, "The Dean of Mean" Keith Jardine and so forth.

I have come up with a list of nicknames of what I think guys would look like in civilian clothing and I submit it for your review.

Stephan "My Ballpoint Pen Chewing Accountant" Bonnar

Forrest "Opie from Mayberry" Griffin

Kenny "The Kid Picked Last in Football" Florian

BJ "You Have a Funny Bald Head and Baby Face" Penn

Roger "That Dude Might Steal My Drunk Buddy's Girlfriend" Huerta

Joe "Dumbo the Great Doesn't Shave Yet" Lauzon

I could go on and on but the bottom line is this:

Imagine any of these guys in suits at an after hours bar. Would you think you could take them? If I saw Ryoto Machida in a suit at a bar, I might ask him for legal advice.

The thing with all of these guys is that I saw them fight and they are really really really good...and they would thoroughly thrash me before I could deliver my stolen from Tombstone "I'm your Huckleberry" line.

If I am hanging out somewhere and I see Wanderlei Silva walking around, I am asking my pals if they too saw the guy with the jacked up ears, nose, eyebrows, and ham hock hands.

The same goes for Dan Henderson and Randy Couture. They look like fighters.

You're currently logged into Facebook

Do you want to share your Bleacher Report activity on Facebook?