"The T.O. Show" Episode Guide

Jeffrey BoswellAnalyst IJuly 23, 2009

PARK CITY, UT - JANUARY 17:  NFL player Terrell Owens attends the 'AXE Fix Club' held during the 2009 Sundance Film Festival and celebrating the new line of AXE body washes and sprays on January 17, 2009 in Park City, Utah.  (Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images for AXE)

Terrell Owens' new reality show premiered on Monday, chronicling the new beginning of Owens as a Buffalo Bill, his fourth team in his 14-year career. Overnight ratings were strong, and the media buzz about the show has been intense, indicating what is sure to be a long run. Should there be enough interest for a season two, it's likely the show will air on another network, however.

Often criticized for his diva-like behavior, Owens balked at the show's original title, "The Miss-Adventures Of Terrell Owens," and instead campaigned for the show's title to mirror those of nearly all of VH1's vast stable of reality shows, and have "love" in the title. Owens proposed "I Love Me," "For the Love of Me," and "Me Love Me Long Time" before he and producers agreed on the generic title.

In the show's initial episode, Owens learns of his release from the Cowboys. Then we meet his two publicists, Monique and Kita, who are masterful at disguising their desire to extend their 15 minutes of fame as genuine concern for T.O.'s well-being. Ironically, it's Monique and Kita who do all the bitching and complaining, while T.O. liberally applies the comic relief.

Soon, they convince T.O. to move to Los Angeles, where they insist he work on his "focus" and "game plan." The three, along with T.O.'s bodyguard/couch magnet, Pablo, head to L.A.

There, Owens finds a new home, drops over $100,000 on a pair of earrings, samples the nightlife, soaks up the adoration of fans, and goes long with his realtor. Also, Owens reaches out to his incredibly gorgeous ex-fiancee Felicia, who broke off the engagement when Owens cheated on her, which is even more validation that personally, as well as professionally, Owens knows how to ruin a good thing.

Below are the potential storylines for upcoming episodes of "The T.O. Show."

Episode 2: "Revenge is a Dish Best Served in a Bowl"— Soon after settling in to his posh Los Angeles home, Owens answers a knock at his door. There, an NFL representative presents him with balloons and congratulations for being voted to the NFL's pre-season "Pre-Bowl" team.

Skeptical, Owens asks to see some documentation, and the representative obliges with an official affidavit verifying that Owens was the leading vote-getter among wide receivers.

Owens' excitement quickly deteriorates into disappointment when, upon closer inspection, he realizes the official affidavit features the letterhead of the fictional accounting firm of Garcia, McNabb, and Romo.

Episode 3: "The O.C." — While on the West Coast, Owens, a big fan of The O.C., requests a visit to the set of the hit teen drama. His publicists arrange a trip, but upon arrival, Owens and his entourage are met with a deserted set, and are told that the show was cancelled in 2007.

Enraged, Owens explodes, unleashing a stream of profanities, reminding many, including some of his former offensive coordinators, that this is not the first time Owens has yelled at "the O.C."

Episode 4: "Fool For the City?" — Owens is presented a key to the city of Buffalo by Mayor Byron Brown. Secretly, Owens wonders exactly which doors in the city the key will actually unlock, while Bills head coach Dick Jauron wonders if the key will open a Pandora's Box.

Episode 5: "Book 'Em, T.O." — Owens visits a local Buffalo elementary school to read his children's book, "Little T Learns to Share." After thumbing through the pages, Owens flips out, complaining that his name doesn't appear enough times in the book.

Minutes later, in what is sure not to be the only case of bad timing between the two this year, Bills quarterback Trent Edwards texts Owens with an invitation to get together and discuss the playbook.

Episode 6: "Gone, Clubbin'" — Owens experiences the harsh realities of the limited Buffalo nightlife when his much-publicized appearance as guest DJ at a trendy nightclub is met with token interest. Owens, manning the turntables as "DJ Wintry Mix," plays to a sparse crowd of 45 at former Bills great Thurman Thomas' discotheque, "Check Your Hat."

Episode 7: "Punk'd" — In an elaborately staged hoax, Owens is lured to Hollywood, California, where he is fooled into believing he's receiving a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. During the dedication ceremony, Owens stands on his star, then, as the prank reaches fruition, Owens is leveled by former Dallas Cowboy safety Roy Williams.

As Owens dusts himself off, he is helped to his feet by joker extraordinaire Ashton Kutcher, as Kutcher reveals that Owens has just become the first reality star to be "Punk'd" on the reality star's own show.

Episode 8: "I Put a Spell on You"— In a publicity stunt gone awry, Owens meets 2009 Scripps Spelling Bee national champion Kavya Shivashankar for a fund-raising spelling contest. In the fourth round, Owens wins in controversial fashion, and despite Shivashankar's heated objections, the obviously biased panel of judges rule in Owens' favor, concluding that indeed there is an "I" in "team."

Shivashankar storms from the competition, but not before warning the fans in Buffalo that, by using the same type of flawed spelling seen in the competition, there is a "T" and an "O" in "disaster."

Episode 9: "Exercise in Futility" — With camera crews documenting the occasion, Owens is fitted for an Armani suit at a ritzy downtown Buffalo haberdashery. After taking measurements, a tailor informs Owens that his waist size is 34 inches. Owens vehemently objects, contending that his waist has been 33 inches for the last 10 years.

An argument ensues, and, as tempers flare, the store manager asks that Owens leave peacefully. Owens refuses, instead deciding to hit the floor for 500 sit-ups. Then he asks for a new measurement.