Six Feet Under: What Lies in Store For the Long-Term Wrestling Program

Disclaimer:

Both this article and its author are not works of fiction. In fact, the writer is quite alive, living on a remote island and frequently partaking in freak boating accidents.

He is known to have a temperament of an angry criminal and as such carries an empty rifle to gunfights. However, a young lad with an Irish accent named Alan is a figment of this author’s imagination. He calls it his inside voice.

Since the beginning of time, war has been waged between good and evil. To this day, it continues in the world that we live in, be it in fiction or in reality.

Since professional wrestling dips into both of those tasty sauces, it would be unfair to you, me and the wrestlers who break their backs trying to give us our money’s worth to say that it qualifies as either real or fake.

Professional wrestling has given birth to many memorable matches and classic promos between two or more individuals who are fighting for a certain cause, because let’s face it: not everyone can pull a Mike Knox these days and get away with it.

These feuds have either spanned large or short periods of time, depending on whether there is enough interest in a rivalry.

Those who have lasted for over significant periods of time have either found great success and in doing so have cemented some of the greatest performers in the annals of wrestling history as one of the finest, greatest talkers and or grapplers.

The other category doesn’t really find as much success but nonetheless, those feuds continue to develop and carry on for several PPV’s spreading throughout the entire roster like the plague that it has transfigured into.

One example would be the current Orton/HHH/Cena/MVP/Shane/Stephanie/Vince/Flair debacle which has produced more unfit and unsettling television than the entire Katie Vick nonsense.

What was supposed to be Orton’s year to shine in which he did constantly (but that is debatable due to the amount of oil he’s used up so far) ended up turning what was to be a feud of the year, at least to me, into one of the worst wrestling programs executed.

Hit and miss: three words that crossed my mind after watching every single Raw during the build up to Wrestlemania.

The story line has, since, come to span over six months and has had two memorable moments so far, both of which have not occurred in the previous month or even in the one before that.

What could be said about the program is that too much juice was squeezed out of the proverbial fruit and there was not enough to sustain another successful collision between Randal Keith Orton and Paul Levesque.

This would lead to injecting all sorts of shenanigans into the already morbidly obese (with performers) feud, including Batista whom I had failed to mention during the initial name calling.

Now at the brink of extinction, if not already dead, the once intense rivalry between HHH and Orton has another unhealthy dose of attitude adjustment in it where HHH resorts to calling Orton a girl.

I will pray tonight before I go bye bye (baby slang for sleep) and hope that DX doesn’t reunite for at least 10 more years.

What has come to pass is a huge mistake on the part of the creative team and while they may not be the most, how do I put it, ‘creative’ bunch, it is still their duty to ensure that a blockbuster feud has both potential and bottled awesomeness that it survives until a big payoff at the biggest party of the summer which is aptly named Summerslam.

An excellent model of a long term wrestling program is the program between Owen and Bret Hart which is, to this day, considered by critics to be the single greatest feud in all of wrestling history.

I might have exaggerated, but considering that I am the one critic who thinks so, I do deserve a chance to present my case, don’t I?

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