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Cashman: "Hello, Brian Cashman."
Keith: "Hey Brian, this is Keith."
"Keith! How is my favorite semi-famous blogger?"
"I'm good Cash. How are you?"
"The Yankees are tied for first place so I'm great! Hey, you told me last week that you were staying in a hotel room right next to Erin Andrews. Did you get a chance to see her?"
"Uh, yeah. I, uh, saw her. She was quite...revealing. Which reminds me, I'm probably going to need you to help me find a lawyer—but that's not why I called. As a fan of the New York Yankees there's something I can't quite understand, and since you're the general manager, naturally I feel I ought to ask you?"
"Sure, buddy. What's up?"
"Why aren't we trying to trade for Roy Halladay, whom last I checked, was the best pitcher in the solar system?"
"Keith, what did I tell you about reading the New York Post, huh? I mean The National Enquirer has more credibility than they do!"
"Yeah, that's true but that Kevin Kernan article from last week got me thinking...Why the hell not? And I'll tell you why I'm bothered by your reluctance to pursue the best pitcher in baseball, in fact I can neatly sum it up in two words: Johan Santana."
"I knew you were going to bring him up. Look, I made a mistake. I should've got Santana from the Twins, especially since they only wanted three players, Melky Cabrera, Phil Hughes, Ian Kennedy. This Halladay thing—I mean its intriguing—but do I really want to give up FOUR players? I say no. That's a bit much, even for the best pitcher in the solar system. Have you checked the standings? We're tied for first place!!!"
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