Sports Fan Jersey Fails

For sports fans, there are countless ways to show team allegiance—some more desirable than others. 

Ball caps and T-shirts are wardrobe staples; the price is right largely because these are disposable items that are replaced regularly. Some fans, like those prone to bad decision-making, prefer a more permanent display, like a tattoo. 

Meeting in the middle, between disposable and lifelong commitment, there is the jersey. The financial commitment required to actually purchase a jersey shows a fan is serious, but not too serious. 

If you're not sure what that looks like, here's an example: 

Matthew Lewis/Getty Images

Generally speaking, buying a jersey—or even buying several jerseys—is a smart investment for your average fan. Of course, not all fans who buy jerseys are thinking about it as a smart investment. Some just want to be weirdos. And they're easy to spot.

There's a small segment of the population that carries the tragically understudied Jersey Foul gene. While most of us are happy with wearing the name and number of our favorite player(s), those who carry the Jersey Foul gene favor a more personalized approach. 

Attention-seekers by nature, for these fun folks, that can mean anything from wearing their own last name to a full-on arts and crafts project, resulting in a Franken-jersey. Results vary widely, but the vast majority are just terrible.

(Some embedded tweets that follow are NSFW.)

When It Works 

"

I would divorce my wife after 65 years of marriage if she made me wear this stupid jersey out in public. pic.twitter.com/pM9hqsd4Vs

— Stone Monarch (@Stone33_) June 5, 2014"

Little kids and old people can get away with pretty much anything. Despite the unpleasant tone of this Stone Monarch character, the fact that either of them would even think of something like this after 65 years of marriage is too adorable for words. 

But they are the exception, not the rule. 

"

Guess they were all out of "My Wife Took My Balls In" "2008" Brewers jerseys via @LastAngryFan http://t.co/aISTK00B9F pic.twitter.com/6OnNNVjXMO

— Mentality Mag (@MentalityMag) May 6, 2013"

These Brewers fans are the rule, and they look ridiculous. That being said, at least they went for T-shirts instead of jerseys. A couple needs to be together at least a decade before going down this ugly road. 

Couples aren't the only offenders, though. Let's take a look at other types of personalized fan jerseys that should never again see the light of day.

Desecrating A Legend  

"

You don't put your own name on a Clemente jersey. #JerseyFoul pic.twitter.com/nuCTXztMSG

— Tim Bowers (@TimBowers62) June 7, 2014"

"

Nothing like taking a legendary Hall of Famer's number and slapping your name on it... #JerseyFoul #scenesfromextras pic.twitter.com/gXH89hrQS0

— Mike Carver (@MikeCarverWFAN) July 1, 2014"

Every team with a little history has a few numbers that are sacred, like No. 21 for the Pirates, which was worn by Roberto Clemente. The Yankees have way more than a few, with one being No. 7, which was worn by Mickey Mantle. Slapping your own name on their numbers is just plain wrong.

Next time, stick with No. 69.

'Merica Madness 

"

Sweet fancy Moses, that's a #76 'MERICA Cardinals jersey. (via @trhorst) pic.twitter.com/EATLf7Jz72

— Matt Sebek (@MattSebek) August 3, 2014"

"

Great Moments in Personalized Fan Jerseys: http://t.co/odQkVIlKHm #Merica pic.twitter.com/Sc0xQNx8OK

— SportsPickle (@sportspickle) March 4, 2014"

Combining one's love of sports with one's love of country is just plain lazy—especially when this is the best one can come up with. At least be original and lazy. 

Franken-Jerseys 

"

@mayorNHL John please let people know this is not OK #jerseyfoul pic.twitter.com/Q0wTJ6work

— GTS Romance Boutique (@GTSRomance) May 3, 2014"

"

"@bh_: sedins frankenjersey!!! @wyshynski #jerseyfoul pic.twitter.com/DYyF21RJ62" this tells me that Weise is the combination of both Sedins.

— 5th Line Winger (@5thLineWinger) March 20, 2013"

"

Worst jersey I've ever seen. pic.twitter.com/iVHKydx9Ki

— Tony Adragna (@tonyadragna) April 11, 2014"

"

WTH? RT @BUFFALOYALS: @wyshynski does this count as a #JerseyFoul? pic.twitter.com/OtAmzrb9sP

— Buffalo Rumblings (@BuffRumblings) August 23, 2014"

"

"@NHLCovers: No. God no. #jerseyfoul pic.twitter.com/NgLhJnvTRM" @Buccigross

— andrew rea (@blueandwhite01) December 1, 2013"

When faced with a tough decision, one of the worst things you can do is make no decision at all. Of course, none of the people in the above photos were faced with a tough decision regarding their jerseys. Unless "to be an idiot or not be an idiot" counts, which it doesn't.

Lazy/Cheap Corrections 

"

First major violation jersey of the season. http://t.co/meLEqKC6lq pic.twitter.com/XhNECiAWKm

— Jon and Sean Show (@JonandSeanShow) August 26, 2014"

"

Credit to the guy for creativity, and I get what he did here, but seriously? Painter's tape? @wyshynski #JerseyFoul pic.twitter.com/D3myeSpgPZ

— Seany Meist (@SeanyMeist) February 24, 2013"

"

Dumb. RT “@MLBFanCave: .@tigers fan finds new use for old Prince Fielder jersey: http://t.co/uNxwgVuZ3Y pic.twitter.com/V6JmDQesAz”

— AussiEbola Dietz (@Choobalka17) May 25, 2014"

These people make the Franken-jersey fans look a lot better—at least they put in some time and effort to create those monstrosities. When players are traded or leave via free agency, fans who own their jerseys often resort to do-it-yourself nightmares like ones above.

This is why you can't go wrong with a classic jersey of a Hall of Fame player.  

"

What a stupid fan. Buy a new one RT @darrenrovell A Tim “Ouch” jersey at the Browns game today pic.twitter.com/KvqEbyT1NT (via @Hotstover)

— Joey Beall (@JoeyPXC) September 8, 2013"

An easy fix like this isn't quite as bad, but do you seriously want everyone to know you bought a Tim Couch jersey? Talk about airing your dirty laundry in public.

GPS Jerseys 

"

We can all agree this is a jersey foul, right? (Seen at Pirates at Nats) pic.twitter.com/OQso43z8hA

— Amanda Rykoff (@amandarykoff) July 27, 2013"

"

Tailgate jersey foul / Number 22 is Fred / Not "Buffalo" #Haiku #Bills #JerseyFoul http://t.co/bXCQV6HYO1

— Suffering Haikuer (@BuffSportsHaiku) August 23, 2014"

Why would you get a jersey with the name of the city where the team's located on the back? If you're concerned that a player is going to leave, there are much better options. These are just ridiculous.

Unclever Jokes/Puns 

"

This might be the worst soccer jersey foul I have ever seen. #cmonman pic.twitter.com/5K3KznRsJU

— Irfaan Gaffar (@sportsnetirf) March 15, 2014"

"

Does this Solange stuff mean S. Carolina fan is going to change jersey to "Plus 1"? pic.twitter.com/5CrafIa5QY

— LostLettermen.com (@LostLettermen) May 13, 2014"

"

Please tell us you know the idiot wearing this jersey. http://t.co/9w5XJu6rLe pic.twitter.com/opTkNFM0cB

— SportsGrid (@SportsGrid) September 29, 2014"

You can always tell people with these types of jerseys are very proud of themselves—like a "Your Mom 69" joke is a total game-changer. And seriously, I don't even think 2 Chainz would wear a "2 Chainz" jersey. 

Insult Jerseys 

"

I hate these Devils fans so much #jerseyfoul pic.twitter.com/TkZUH2XPaz

— timjoyce (@timjoyce) April 12, 2014"

"

You say #JerseyFoul, I say just good trolling. #Maarrtyy @YahooPuckDaddy pic.twitter.com/1u18X7kFQ1

— Steven David (@Garts2point2) August 8, 2013"

"

Note: This tweet may have sexual references. #AA RT @losprattt Stay classy, Toronto. #JerseyFoul pic.twitter.com/7yO44BzTJS

— Eric Prime (@PrimeSN590) May 1, 2013"

For some fans, hating a rival is as important as supporting their own team. Sometimes, even more so. These people have a special gift for sucking the fun out of sports entirely with their unpleasantness. Everyone knows you get the jersey of someone on your own team and make a sign hating on your opponent. 

"

Sweet jersey. Holy crap, Anson Carter! RT ‏@Martys_Better: @wyshynski the ultimate bandwagon #jerseyfoul pic.twitter.com/Mc0PZ3P1t1

— Mike Martignago (@MikeMartignago) March 12, 2013"

But if you insist on going this route, at least do it right.

Oversharing 

"

Jersey at Blackhawks game tonight pic.twitter.com/oJXrTAOWgL (via @kellykatie_)

— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) January 18, 2014"

"

Natinals fan sporting a Gluten Free jersey at the ballpark needs to be ejected from life. #NATTITUDE pic.twitter.com/yB3av765b2

— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) April 4, 2014"

"

Is this the worst custom jersey ever? Found on reddit's r/cringepics: pic.twitter.com/TOBWlo0zON

— Andrew Vazzano (@AVSNY) September 2, 2013"

"

@wyshynski #JerseyFoul RT @BaconSports: Freaking yinzers #randomjersey “@740JZD: Have you seen this, Via @JCal_88 pic.twitter.com/xV6CZgq0Ml”

— toolboa (@toolboa) January 28, 2014"

There are some things you just shouldn't say about yourself, let alone put on the back of a jersey. "Gluten-Free" definitely counts as one of them. MILF Hunter? Yeah...that does, too. How about PERVERT? Uh-huh.

Stunningly stupid.

Sad Messages

"

This is disgusting and an abomination: @3rdManIn @2ITB_Buffalo #TheresAlwaysNextYear #JerseyFoul pic.twitter.com/Gpy1kliXsR

— Tom O'Connor (@BuffaloFenian) November 30, 2013"

"

Jersey Of The Day worn by a Browns fan (via @RyanJKelly) pic.twitter.com/YG6PY1WQxY

— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) August 2, 2014"

If things have been bad enough, long enough, to inspire someone to get a "Maybe Next Year" jersey, it's hard to imagine the team is just a piece or two away from seriously competing. Just buy some booze instead.

Inappropriate Gobbledygook  

"

#jerseyfoul #elknuts pic.twitter.com/dSs2Pk6Xq4

— Jake (@jaekjeubluh) May 5, 2013"

"

Couple of years old, but this is the worst #Rays jersey ever. pic.twitter.com/GJ7b0M2nAw

— Cork Gaines (@CorkGaines) September 2, 2013"

"

#JerseyFoul #ILoveBoobs pic.twitter.com/Ju5KgBGQRb

— NHL EXPERT PICKS (@NHLexpertpicks) April 23, 2013"

"

"Mybalzich" One HELL of a jersey foul in Stockton (ECHL) tn. @wyshynski @Sean_Leahy pic.twitter.com/xgYfSme3TG

— Kevin Schultz (@Schultz88) October 20, 2013"

"

Jet fan makes minor adjustment to his Darrelle Revis jersey. (NSFW) (H/T from Dan on Facebook). pic.twitter.com/X0YeBYC045

— uSTADIUM (@uSTADIUM) August 6, 2014"

This category really speaks for itself.

Dude Isn't Even On Your Team 

"

#JerseyFoul @wyshynski RT@MLBGIFs: Sorry, @NHL. He's our Captain. #FarewellCaptain http://t.co/YyBQYN8niT"

— Carcel Mousineau (@CarcelMousineau) September 24, 2014"

"

"@sigtauez188: Worst jersey foul ever @mayorNHL pic.twitter.com/ppHvpzV0oq" You won't hear this often... I'm speechless

— The Mayor John Hoven (@mayorNHL) March 21, 2014"

"

New candidate for best fan jersey at #Browns Training Camp, courtesy of Eddie in Mansfield: pic.twitter.com/uhJ730brf9

— ESPN Cleveland (@ESPNCleveland) July 28, 2014"

Cross-player jerseys are bad—seriously, what kind of Kings fan gets a customized Ovechkin jersey? He's the captain of a team 2,000 miles away. Cross-sport-player jerseys are even worse. The Browns fan's LeBron jersey is actually a double jersey foul since he plays for the Cavaliers and he used his first name. 

Of course, they have nothing on these folks: 

"

Saw this on the berm at cubs park yesterday pretty sure it’s. #jerseyfoul pic.twitter.com/4YV4V5U6nY

— Dave Simon (@nyillini311) March 12, 2014"

"

Cowboys fans already making JFF jerseys: http://t.co/Obxn204XOO This is what destiny looks like. pic.twitter.com/yqzAv7gsDl

— LostLettermen.com (@LostLettermen) May 1, 2014"

::Pulling hair out in confusion and rage::

Jersey Chaser Jerseys 

"

So much wrong. #jerseyfoul RT @StephStradley: 99 JJ Watt "Babymama" jersey? Yep. pic.twitter.com/yoZ9r7H3q4

— Amanda Rykoff (@amandarykoff) November 24, 2013"

"

Ladies and gentleman, I present to you the Mrs. Brodeur #31 jersey.... @wyshynski #JerseyFoul pic.twitter.com/dn4mRLD8yw

— Rachel Rose (@rachelrc) January 22, 2014"

There are few things worse for female sports fans than when people assume we're just in it for the men. These women are doing the rest of us a disservice.

Why, God, Why?

"

Wow...and it's just preseason! RT @HockeyChick107: .@wyshynski well, that didn’t take long. #JerseyFoul http://t.co/NkehOdFITg

— Jen Burns (@Crackerjen) September 22, 2013"

"

Yes, that says TICKET TERMINATOR. #jerseyfoul @emilybabyy @mcknight_david @JayBLirette pic.twitter.com/wnwkp82kWa

— Jeremy Boucher (@Jeremy_Boucher) November 24, 2013"

"

Big time #jerseyFoul. You know, if anyone (hint: @wyshynski) still cares. #Blackhawks pic.twitter.com/xs3Xa3Eb4E

— Blackhawk Zone (@BlackhawkZone) October 2, 2013"

"

@wyshynski No!!! Just...NO! #JerseyFoul pic.twitter.com/xtzxnDdw4f

— Mark Fuery (@HockeyGeek38) November 22, 2013"

"

.@wyshynski "Fatrat" was a loud obnoxious drunk glassbanger who kept screaming shoot during the pp. #jerseyfoul pic.twitter.com/0Wlnx9WgIx

— joy (@joyless_heathen) November 2, 2013"

I can't even...any of these...I just can't...

Etc.

"

Here's a personalized jersey you don't see every day. http://t.co/GEh9bPjRfx (pic via @bobfescoe) pic.twitter.com/7lW03hkRoA

— SB Nation (@SBNation) August 1, 2014"

I'm not particularly religious, but isn't there a commandment that forbids this sort of thing?

"

#jerseyfoul: Venetian Dental got a good plug during the Malkin/Lecavalier tussle. (cc @wyshynski @emptynetters) pic.twitter.com/v4bX98c4

— Allison Young (@allisonyoung) January 15, 2012"

These type of guys always have the front row seats at hockey games. What can I say, though? At least he isn't wearing a suit and talking on a cell phone. 

"

Here is somebody with a Brian Dozier back hair jersey: http://t.co/PIxrTtDq0I pic.twitter.com/5M5UlrbmQg

— SB Nation (@SBNation) July 15, 2014"

Ew. If you're going to shave your back, just do the whole thing. Getting stuck next to the shirtless guy at a ballgame is always a nightmare, but this takes that nightmare to an entirely different level. 

This feels like just the right ending—there's no topping that jersey foul.