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Everything Isn't "Fine" in the SEC

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Everything Isn't
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Drink No. 1

Call it the Cold-Keg season, if you will, in deference to baseball's hot-stove. Recruiting keeps college football in the spotlight year round. Freedom of Information Acts and, despite the decline of newspapers, more media than you can shake a stick at continue to sate our appetites for God's game. This year, the Cold-Keg season has brought us a slew of articles implying too much money is spent on recruiting. I beg to differ.

Recruiting is the Research and Development of college football. College football is the financial lifeblood of large Title IX-regulated NCAA member institutions. The money invested in recruiting most certainly comes back in spades. My speculation is the most ardent supporters of Title IX are the same complainers whining about the money spent on recruiting.

It may come as a surprise, but I am a convert to Title IX. Having three daughters will do that to a fellow, even one from South Georgia. In fact my plasma, watching Georgia's gymnastics, softball and women's basketball teams, has consumed many a kilowatt-hour. But I digress.

Drink No. 2

The problem with recruiting is not the legitimate investment of capital in hopes of acquiring talent within the guidelines set forth by the NCAA. The problem with recruiting, in my humble if not somewhat tipsy opinion, is the depths at which outside forces will go to give "their" team an advantage or their "rival" a disadvantage.

I am not going to focus on the used car dealers, too easy a target. Hell, I am not even going to cover recruiting. A news article on recruiting, if an article that quotes my target can be called news, put today's target in my scopes. Today we focus on the slime that doesn't use his money, but his column space or radio network to tarnish God's game.

Drink No. 3 (Starting To Swerve)

As a Georgia man and a huge fan of Lewis Grizzard I have taken a great interest in the young journalists that have paid there dues in Athens, from the Red and Black, and The Banner Herald, to the once proud Atlanta Journal AND Constitution. Many a great beat writer has learned their trade in the Classic City. I am proud of them all; no matter how funny some of them look.

Gainesville, as usual, would be an overly easy target for this post. Somewhere on a Gainesville J-School degree it must have a stamp that says "Reptile Homer." Having suffered through a three year subscription to the Jacksonville Onion during the Bianchi days, I know of what I blog. Read Bianchi in the morning, listen to Lamb on the morning commute and Frangie in the afternoon and you too will understand, unless you are cousin to a lizard.

Drink No. 4 (Stay off the Sidewalks)

As a potential masochist, I occasionally watch MSNBC in the evening. This practice gives me the empathy required to write this posting. I am a loyal, patriotic American. I love my country, yet sometimes I watch Keith "I wanna be a czar" Olbermann. Even though I know he hates my country and is trying to destroy it, I still watch from time to time. This brings me to the citizens of Alabama. Most of them love Bear Bryant and Tuscaloosa, the rest love Shug and West Opelika.

Drink No. 5 (I Now Have the Right of Way)

What in the name of Charlie Trippi does MSNBC and Keith "I wanna be a czar" Olbermann have to do with the state of Alabama? Knutsville. Specifically, Paul "no other state would fall for this garbage" Finebaum. The master of muckraking, Finebaum recently gave his take on SEC recruiting.

Talk about Lucifer explaining the ills of society. Paul taking on rumors and innuendo in college football is akin to Phillip Morris ads educating us on the dangers of smoking. The only difference is Congress mandated the anti-smoking spots, this "journalist's" motives are beyond this BUI convict.

Wake up, Alabama. There are alternative programming sources, Dunaway and Brown for instance. This Knutsville alum means you no good. Sure he may have saved West Opelika from Bobby Petrino. And yes, from time to time his upper lip smells like Saban's supper that was.

Drink No. 6 (Riding on Rims)

For all the damage his man does to your biggest rival, he does the same to you. Send him packing. Let him work quality control or safety at Alcoa. Make him wear orange, for certainly he deserves it. I am not saying the man should be used to fatten the hogs, but let his destructive forces come to bear where they originate. In Knutsville, Tennessee.

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