His Balls Are Too Small: Watson Commits Major Violation at British Open (Satire)

Sam  Fogelgaren by Correspondent Written on July 19, 2009
TURNBERRY, SCOTLAND - JULY 18:  Tom Watson of USA reacts to his putt on the 18th green during round three of the 138th Open Championship on the Ailsa Course, Turnberry Golf Club on July 18, 2009 in Turnberry, Scotland.  (Photo by Ross Kinnaird/Getty Images) (Photo by Ross Kinnaird/Getty Images)

Just when you thought you had a feel good story in sports, this comes up. After the Patriots win three super bowls, spying allegations come up. When we think Manny and A-Rod are naturally the best players in baseball, we find out that they are on steroids. 

Now we have Tom Watson. Once one of the most competitive golfers in the world, he has since dipped out of the public eye a bit.

But his comeback starts now.

Or has it just ended?

After Watson took an incredibly unexpected lead at Thurnberry this week, at -4, the impossible happened. Watson, 59, has been using golf balls that are below the regulation weight for the British Open. This was confirmed by a source from the AP. 

"Obviously, this is something that we did not expect out of Tom. Tom is a lead by example guy, and we hope this was just an error, and nothing was intentional," PGA Commissioner Tim Finchem said at a press conference at Thurnberry today. 

But, to the surprise and disappointment of many a golf fan, this was apparently planned out by Watson himself.

"I cheated. I was trying to get a competitive advantage, and I got caught. I take full responsibility, and will be completely cooperative with any investigation the PGA might start," Watson said in a letter to the AP.

Any further information is pending an investigation, and there are rumors surfacing that Watson could have possibly been doing this for his whole career. The PGA has not said if they would strip Watson of any of his eight major wins. 

Vote Now! - Author Poll

If a golfer did actually use golf balls that were below regulation weight, would you strip them of their accolades?

  • yes
  • no
vote to see results
Results - Author Poll

If a golfer did actually use golf balls that were below regulation weight, would you strip them of their accolades?

  • yes

    43.8%
  • no

    56.3%
  • Total votes: 16
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written on July 19, 2009 Humor

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