Padres Open Second Half with Two More Losses: So Much for a Fresh Start

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Padres Open Second Half with Two More Losses: So Much for a Fresh Start
(Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

Pads lose, Pads lose. The Bad News Bears got nothing on my Padres, who have taken losing and turned it into an art form.

In fielding the cheapest, least talented team in professional sports, the Padres have proven that you get what you pay for. Right now, A good college team could probably whip these guys, as they evidently cannot hit, pitch, or catch.

As a lifelong Padre fan, all I can do everyday is put on the game and hope for the best. There is nothing more frustrating than watching yet another complete unknown player step into the batter's box for the Pads, and if I don't know who is batting—or pitching—what chance does an east coast media base that barely remembers Tony Gwynn have?

One of the reason the Padres signed Rickey Henderson and Fernando Valenzuela was for the free press. Every time Rickey stole a base, it was a record, and every time Fernando won a game, it was a lead story on SportsCenter.

What reason is there to cover this team now? Josh Geer is just the latest example of "who the heck are these guys?" that is sweeping the baseball nation. I understand rebuilding with youth, and—who knows?—three years from now, this might be the best team in baseball. 

Until that magic day arrives, Padre fans will have to make do with beach towels and fireworks, as that's all the Padres seem prepared to spend money on. Players? If you make the major league minimum, you can probably get a tryout here in SD.

Tim "Whiplash" Stauffer is back, What's next—is Randy Jones going to make a comeback? Jones could probably out pitch anyone on the current staff, even at his advanced age. And now, the Pads are about to destroy young Matt Latos career by throwing him to the wolves a full two years before he would be ready. Because Latos will only make a fifth of a pittance salary wise, he fits right into the scheme of things around here—as in he has a pulse, and he will pitch for food.  

John and Becky Moores—a plea: Just get the hell out of here—take your divorce and just get out. No one cares. If we could tie you guys to a railcar and send you to New Mexico tarred and feathered, it might make Padre fans feel a little less lied to.

And a plea to new owner Jeff Moorad: Don't become the new Donald Sterling...

And to the best Padre front office player ever—Larry Lucchino: Come back and buy this team from the three stooges over here and fix this mess, like you did in 1996 and 1998. Winning was cool; I actually got used to it. Going 60-102 is UNACCEPTABLE.

Stay tuned—the Padres still have two and a half more months for opposing pitchers to throw no hitters, so enjoy, as a team like this may never come again (hopefully).

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