College girls are really dumb.
So I'm in Mankato, MN in the early '90s—don't ask why, I freely admit it was a bad choice as a whole.
So anyways, I'm in my early 20s and in charge of a construction crew made up of mostly local college kids from Mankato State U. Hello! College party invites! So of course I attend them as often as I can.
Well, as the months go by and summer fast approaches, I find out much to my excitement that Mankato State U. is also the summer camp for the MN Vikings and my 'boys' have a plan. (Not sure where the Vikings camp now, and don't care.)
You with me so far? Lol, well if you are, you guessed it. That's right we are all going to become football players. Hey, we're young and in shape. I live two blocks from the field. It's a no brainer, isn't it?
Well how do we plan to do this you ask? Get down to the football field and try to walk on? NO way. That's a long shot. Try to run into one of the coaches while he is at dinner? Nah, that would just be rude.
Maybe have a pick up game right in front of where the coaches come out to the field and show off our football skill? Lol We're in living in Mankato for a reason, and it isn't because we have skills.
No, see, the thing is we don't want to actually play football. We live in the city with the only action, girls, for as far as the eye can see. This is MN. It's all cornfields to the horizon as soon as you get to the city limits.
We just want to meet hot college chicks. How better to do it then go to the local clubs and tell them we are all players for the MN Vikings?
So we all gear up, Vikings hat here, Vikings T-shirt there and off we go to the clubs. (We kind of knew the bouncers at the hottest spot and had them in on it (He-he).) Yup, right to the front of the line to get in. HEY, we're VIP, man, we can't be hanging back with the lowlifes. LOL
That was it. We were all set from there. Looked the part, got the recognition going in. Ladies please allow me to introduce you to Richard Hugh Mong the 1991 69th overall pick for the Vikings. "Hi I'm Tracy", LOL. I couldn't believe it. We were surrounded by women, young dumb college women. Life is good sometimes, life is really, really good sometimes.
The best part, the drunker they get, the more they believe.
I love Mankato for that reason and that reason alone. Thank you MN Vikings, thank you for allowing me to be part of your team. I will always love you guys.
Hey maybe I'll tell you guys sometime how I played for the Boston Bruins and didn't even know it. Hey Squeens think you can let me know next time when your spreading rumors for me? Lol
Oh and if you liked this piece, look up there, right there to the upper right. You can read some more of my twisted humor. Heck even if you didn't like it give my other stuff a shot. You might find something that makes you want to find me and do evil things.