Dear Notre Dame Football,
As you well know, the world is divided into two different groups of people: those who love Notre Dame football and those who hate it.
There's no riding the fence in this debate. People are either with you or against you.
I happen to be in the latter group. And that’s why this college football season is turning into one of my all-time favorites.
The people who despise the Fighting Irish share in my glee and are also basking in your recent atrociousness. But you, Notre Dame—I know what you’re thinking.
“Why you hatin’?”
Well, I’m hatin’ because, thanks to your illustrious past, the bulk of your fanbase is arrogance personified. Notre Dame fans think that simply being Notre Dame makes the Irish relevant. They act as though you’re God’s gift to the gridiron—literally.
I’ve always found the Notre Dame faithful particularly annoying because most of the fans I’ve encountered have never set foot in the state of Indiana, much less South Bend...but somehow they’re connected to the team in a way that allows them to look down upon every other college football program in the nation.
Of course, you breed this mentality by constantly placing yourself above the rest of the college football world. You refuse to join a conference, probably because doing so would mean forsaking your lucrative television deal and, God forbid, sharing the wealth with those peasant programs that aren’t fit to breathe your holy air.
I don’t want to ruin your day—but lucrative contract or not, the air surrounding Notre Dame football these days smells a little ripe.
In fact, I’d go so far as to say it stinks.
Apparently all that TV money doesn’t buy wins.
After a rough start, you guys went into Ann Arbor to face Michigan, a team that had been equally disappointing the first two weeks of the season. If there was a time to turn things around, this past Saturday was it.
Whoops.
Instead of righting the ship, you Golden Domers looked as bad as a football team can possibly look. Your highly recruited freshmen quarterback looked like a deer in headlights, and Mike Hart treated your defense the way Charlie Weis treats a plate of ribs.
The only things left were bones and gristle.
Okay, Weis would eat the gristle too...but you get the idea.
Face it, Notre Dame—you’re not what you once were. And that’s okay. We all get older; we all lose a step. There’s no shame in that.
The only problem?
You and your fanbase act like a 50-year-old man suffering a midlife crisis.
Rather than accepting that you’re not what you were, you ride around town in a red Corvette, wearing a bad rug and popping Viagra.
That kind of attitude is what leads to guys like me hatin’ the Irish...and loving your 0-3 record.
But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the program is still as virile as ever, and maybe Charlie Weis will eventually reestablish the dominance of the Fighting Irish. Maybe Notre Dame has several national titles and several Heisman Trophy winners in its near future.
Somehow, though I doubt it.
As for this season, look on the bright side: You may stink, but at least Regis Philbin is still one of your biggest fans.
You know, if you can consider that a bright side.
Gleefully yours,
Dave
28 comments Last one added about 1 year ago — Leave a Comment
Mike Eagan about 1 year ago
If we're so irrelevant, feel free not to write about us. Thanks.
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Michael Bell about 1 year ago
Indeed. ND fans are well aware of the stink that is our football team this year. From my experience (attending all but PSU so far this year), there s no arrogance. We re taking our lumps and trying to move on. Its rough but its not the first time ND fans have been down on their luck in recent years.
From an alumni standpoint, I think that arrogance that you speak of is just a general love for our school that comes across when we talk about Notre Dame or ND football. I don t think it s intentional but I m sure many fans from other schools feel that way. And of course we love the attention given to our school. Who wouldn t? I smile even when I read articles bashing ND because I d rather have someone bash us than not being discussed at all.
Also, this hate that you have builds upon ND s fans, but it is the media who are the ones writing the articles. Excuse us for enjoying the attention. What s ironic is the jealousy that still exists when we re at the bottom of the totem pole (for the time being).
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Bryan Goldberg about 1 year ago
I used to be the biggest Notre Dame fan ever, but then my Catholic friends let it be known that I am not allowed to like them anymore. Can you believe it? That's right, take a deep breathe and think about this for a moment...
They told me that I am NOT ALLOWED to be a fan of their team. While they are not the gatekeepers of Domerdom, it sure makes it unappealing to cheer for a team when your fellow fans get angry at you for doing so.
Such is the world of Notre Dame. They are too good for new fans... I guess it's a shame that my grandpappy wasn't a Domer, or gentile for that matter.
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Dave Finocchio about 1 year ago
As a Notre Dame alum, I have to say this was a pretty good call out.
Fair enough Dave, fair enough. Notre Dame fans are arrogant. But understand that it's partially born out of a defense mechanism. We take more criticism than any other program in the country...and we love our school. What do you expect?
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. about 1 year ago
I didn't think Notre Dame was too bad - until they fired Ty Willingham. I'm still waiting for justification of that fire, especially since "Charlie Weis is better" is no longer viable.
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Dave Finocchio about 1 year ago
Let's stay away from the Willingham crap. He was fired for his recruiting, not his record. And we're paying for it right now.
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Smith J. Howard about 1 year ago
I agree with Dave on this one. Willingham's players are still around South Bend and that has been a contriubutor to ND's bad start. I'm no Irish fan or anything, but don't you think its a little early to be saying that Charlie Weis isn't a good coach. I mean, its been 3 losses this season. Yeah thats unacceptable for most any college program, especially Notre Dame, but look at who they lost to. Georgia Tech and that crazy awesome defense, Penn State and their crazy awesome defense, and Michigan. Not to make excuses for the Weis and the Irish, but to start off the season against 2 of the best defenses in the country, all while trying to find a QB who will step up...not gonna work. I believe that the Michigan game was a "trap" game...(see Landanian Tomlinson's explanation about why the Chargers lost to New England). That was a must win for the Wolverines, especially since it was in Ann Arbor. Notre Dame is getting to that same point. They MUST win soon, so look for them to improve and at least start scoring...maybe not winning, but hopefully scoring. For their sake.
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Mike Eagan about 1 year ago
Thanks, Robert, for providing the sanity in this debate.
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james Marcus about 1 year ago
Notre Dame's problems start with Charlie Weis. I mean look at the guy, how can you expect a dude cleary suffering from man tits, with a synthetic wind breaker tucked into a pair of khakis hiked up so high it makes him look like he has two asses(which might come in useful this season for kicking); run a football team! You gotta feel for his wife. Pete Carrol has something i like to call class.
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Michael Bell about 1 year ago
And booster money going to his players...
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Mike Eagan about 1 year ago
Thanks for bringing up Pete Carroll, James. Wasn't it not too long ago (say, 6 years) that USC's days as a premier college football school were thought to be long gone? And what about Oklahoma's?
The rumors of Notre Dame's demise have been greatly exaggerated for decades before Parseghian was hired, and before Holtz was hired. But if it makes you all feel better to pretend otherwise, then go right ahead.
It will take some time for Weis (hopefully) to fix the deficiencies in recruiting left by his predecessor, and that's just fact. By no means does that excuse the team from an absolutely abysmal start on the field, possibly the worst in the nation, and that starts with the head coach. But the belief here, and among most Irish fans, is that these problems can and will be fixed.
Why would a someone follow their team if they thought otherwise? It's hardly arrogance it's called being a fan.
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Dave Nemetz about 1 year ago
James - Great comment! You always crack me up, man.
Mike - Yeah, USC was considered a program that had hit the skids until good ol' Pete came along and totally revitalized the school. Compare that to Charlie Weis, who got anointed as the man-tit bearing god of all things college football by the Notre Dame mafia before he had even proven anything, let alone competed in a bowl game.
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Dave Finocchio about 1 year ago
High overview:
- Notre Dame has been in the BCS for two straight years.
- They were probably about the 12th best team in the country last year and say the 6th best team in the country the year before.
- They consistently get in over their heads in bowl games due to their incredibly large and loyal fan base
- They lost their all-time leading QB, both all-time leading receivers, their starting running back, and most of their O-line
- The offensive line is filled with freshman and sophomores who haven't spent enough time in the strength and conditioning program. This is Ty's fault.
- Charlie Weis' recruits are the freshman and sophomores. Willingham's are the juniors and seniors.
- We're going to have a top three recruiting class this year.
This alll adds up to: we're going to be just fine next year, and more than fine the year after. Enjoy the petty attacks while you can.
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Jared Reback about 1 year ago
"- The offensive line is filled with freshman and sophomores who haven't spent enough time in the strength and conditioning program. This is Ty's fault.
- Charlie Weis' recruits are the freshman and sophomores. Willingham's are the juniors and seniors."
If the linemen are freshman and sophomores, then they have never met Ty Willingham. Therefore, their training program is Weis' fault, not Ty's.
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Michael Bell about 1 year ago
I do think other alumni love their schools. However, ND has a higher amount of legacy than other schools, and therefore many of the students/alumni grew up living and breathing all things ND. Another factor is that fact that outside of South Bend and perhaps Chicago, ND fans are constantly in enemy territory. I grew up in Ohio St territory and was known as one of the ND fans around town. I think this defense mechanism of constant banter back and forth was what Dave was referring to in defending ND.
Thanks for caring though...it makes me smile
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Anonymous about 1 year ago
My dad was a Notre Dame fa. He didn't go there nor did I but I became a fan because of him. I then went out in the world and met a number of Notre Dame alums. If one school could produce a bigger bunch of reprehsensible losers, I don't know which one it would be except maybe Vanderbilt. Anyway, I always root against Notre Dame... and Vanderbilt.
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Dave Finocchio about 1 year ago
Truer words have seldom been spoken
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Dave Nemetz about 1 year ago
Another awesome comment. Anon...I strongly urge you to come back and post zingers like that more often.
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Anonymous about 1 year ago
Look at all the attention Notre Dame gets. Yes they are 0-3, they played some decent teams and yes I do think Michigan is actually a pretty decent team. Notre Dame stinks this year but being a true Notre Dame fan I am not going to jump on the bandwagon and just go and like USC because they have been the best program recently. I think people are trying to talk about how bad Notre Dame sucks this year as much as they can because they all know after this year they probably will not have a chance to do that. Notre Dame will be a completely opposite team next year and everyone who is now dissing Weis will say that he is doing a good job but somehow they will try and tie the success to Willingham even though there will be nothing left of his team he left anymore because it seems that the experts think when Weis was doing good it was Willingham's doings but now that he is doing bad its because Willingham is not there.
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Anonymous about 1 year ago
Hey Dave, First of all Notre Dame worries about ACADEMICS first and we dont just allow any thug who can run the ball into our school. So go ahead keep talking crap even though us and Michigan are the winnest teams in college football history.
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Anonymous about 1 year ago
Also Notre Dame ranks higher in the US News top 100 Universities.
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Anonymous about 1 year ago
Notre Dame is such a renowned academic institution. Please list all the Nobel Laureates it has graduated.
(Pretty shot list, huh?)
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Steve Wood about 1 year ago
Anonymous,
Clearly you are not one of them. You can't even spell! (Shot, don't you mean short)?
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David Williams about 1 year ago
Anonymous people, that's a pretty big cop out to try and promote your academics as the reason you aren't doing well. I hate the USNews rankings which have some questionable measures of acquiring this data, but even my that methodology, Stanford, Duke, Northwestern, Rice and Vanderbilt are ALL better schools and ALL have better records than Notre Dame does! Get off your high horses.
Jimmy K. doesn't look like he's smart enough for ND, considering he doesn't even have the common sense to throw the ball away before he's about to get mauled by the Michigan defenders.
Most of you obviously don't go to Notre Dame or your grammar would be a little bit better, so what's the point of talking about academics? You sound like one of those "thugs" that such a prestigious institute wouldn't admit.
I have a lot of respect for the ND fans who actually go to the University. Or even those who don't but have followed the rich, tradition-filled history. Those who root for the Golden Domers just because they're catholic need some justification here...God isn't rooting for any specific team, there are much more important things in the world. Besides, this year it looks like he's rooting for BC. Looks like some of you chose your wrong religious-inspired bandwagon team this year!
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Dave Finocchio about 1 year ago
In my experience, God always roots for B.C.
But I believe ND is tied with Vanderbilt in the US News report.
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Raider D Richardson about 1 month ago
Thanks, O.
Yeah, we should def. win this one...that's I put the loss in OT(and only a field goal won it.)
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Trey Bradley about 1 year ago
Go back and read Brady Quinn's comments in SI from the fall of 2005. He respectfully articulated what every single ND football follower knew after 3 years of Willingham... Ty was wasting his immense talent.
Whether or not Weis is the right guy for the job long term remains to be seen. But there was no doubt in November of 2004 that Ty could not succeed in South Bend.
Recruiting is the driving force in college football... it's the only reason Ron Zook is still employed. The difference between Weis' staff and Ty's in terms of recruiting is night and day. Throw this year out. After next year we'll know whether Weis is Zook or Urban Meyer.
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Anonymous about 1 year ago
Dave,
After reading your column, it seems to me that you're a pretty insecure person, but have a decent ability to write and articulate your thoughts on paper. congrats on having those skills.
I know quite a few SEC fans and and Big 10 fans who think that their team is "above the rest of the football world"... it doesn't bother me in the least bit. i actually think it's great, and adds to the competitiveness of the ncaa football season
I'm happy to see your emotions come out the way they have on this site. good luck to whatever team you cheer for.
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Wade Peery about 1 year ago
I don't like Notre Dame's fans' expectations Dave--I agree with you. They are living in the past and think they should always be the king of the college football world when something like that is highly unealistic in this day and age where parity is the name of the game.
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