ESPN's SportsCenter cannot resist the urge to fill a TV screen with meaningless statistics.
Whether spouted out by their anchors or listed as an aside on their final box scores, SportsCenter finds a way to deconstruct a game into tidbits of information that do not bring us into a better understanding of the day's action.
ESPN is in love with what I call "It Must Be the Uniform" statistics. For instance, recently I was informed that the Celtics are 4-0 against the Hawks all-time in Game 7's.
Never mind that the two franchises hadn't played against each other in the playoffs since 1988, when Atlanta called the Omni Coliseum home, and that the other two when they were called the St. Louis Hawks, back in 1957 and 1960.
Oh, and that there were completely different players on those teams and the game was played differently back then, in case those years didn't make that clear.
Chicago White Sox pitcher Gavin Floyd made a bid to throw a no-hitter against the Minnesota Twins, the second time this year he came close and missed, SportsCenter was ready with the statistic, "This is the first time a pitcher has pitched a no-hitter past the 8th inning in two games in the same season since 2006, when Chris Young did it."
I can imagine the guy at home who was just dying to know who, if anyone, could have possibly matched Floyd's feat of almost no-hitters.
Oh, and the Cleveland Cavaliers are 0-14 all-time in Game 1's on the road, by the way. And the Celtics have won six straight Game 1's at home. Huzzah!
ESPN's lunacy doesn't stop with the meaningless statistics.
I was watching highlights of the Padres/Marlins game on Saturday, and the package showed the Padres ahead 3-2 with their ace Jake Peavy on the mound.
Inexplicably, the package then featured Peavy getting upset at a ball call, which would signal that perhaps the Marlins started turning the tide and were about to get the lead, but it was the final highlight of the package...and the Padres won 7-2.
The headlines in the San Diego Union-Tribune must have been something like, "Padres Win 7-2, Peavy Gets Slightly Miffed at Ball Call in Meaningless Part of Game: four-page pullout section inside!"
Not to mention that SportsCenter constantly edits a highlights package in a slipshod manner. How many times do you watch highlights of your favorite team and they have the lead, but then the next highlight will show them behind in a game, without any explanation?
Don't you think that in the "story" of the game, a significant lead change is important? I'm sure time considerations are a part of some highlights getting excised, but when you see some of the things in which SportsCenter decides to include, this ignorance cannot be excused.
I'm sure everyone is dying to know why LaDainian Tomlinson left his helmet on while on the sidelines during the playoff game against the New England Patriots and whether he's sorry about doing it.
With the NBA and NHL playoffs going full swing and Major League Baseball in the early part of the season, the scads of people who are still demanding to know why Tomlinson left that helmet on and have been left wondering outnumber the combined number of people who care about present-day action.
I know, I know...Tomlinson's keeping-the-helmet-on gaffe completely ruined the Chargers chances of beating the Patriots that day, and it will be remembered in the same context that Bill Buckner is remembered.
But please just give me some meaningful highlights...it's been 40 minutes and you still haven't told me how the Braves lost today.
And I saw a poll question asking what was the most memorable thing that happened on May 6. There were some, like Kerry Wood's 20-strikeout game, that made sense.
But Babe Ruth's first home run in 1915? Who remembers that? Who is more than 93 years old, watching SportsCenter, and was at the game that was obviously not televised?
Because there are those kind of people out there, I'm sure the answer got picked by more than a few people, and they are nothing but a bunch of lying liars in flammable pants.
One more thing: If you've got Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Ray Allen in the same room, you've got to ask them the dramatic question, "It's Game 7. You're behind by a point. There's three seconds left on the clock. Who takes the last shot?"
First off, does it matter? Second, would these guys ever tell the truth to that question? Third, didn't Ray Allen prove that he's the guy to go to after his performance in He Got Game?
As Public Enemy rapped in that movie:
It might feel good, or sound a little somethin, but f*** the game if it ain't saying nothin.
I think that sums up SportsCenter pretty well.
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2 months ago
Wow. Fantastic editorial. It's hard for me to pick a favorite from among the SportsCenter shortcomings you listed, but if I have to... I'll go with the meaningless stats. Man, do I hate that crap.
I remember back several years, the big talk was the Southern NFL teams winning playoff games in the cold weather environments. Was it the Bucs... or Atlanta? I can't remember. But I remember being told all the time that they'd never won a playoff game in temperatures below 32. I also remember wondering what the hell that had to do with anything, because the previous teams that had failed to win in cold temps weren't even the same team as the current one.
That crap bothers me to no end. In golf they always talk about Tiger and how he's never won a tournament where he wasn't leading by the third round or whatever. Just... so far removed from the things that will actually determine the winner that it might as well be dead air.
You can make statistics say whatever you want them to... even if they're stupid stats. It's the oldest sportscast trick in the book.
2 months ago
Without a doubt, these stats (Boston is 18-0 when leading by 20 points or more in the fourth quarter at home, or the Yankees are 127-4 when leading after 8 innings since 1996) are the most meaningless of all. It's as if some ghostly force pervades the uniform, compelling the athletes to do better.
I think we have to keep in mind that Sportscenter isn't for us-it's for our wives or girlfriends, or the casual fan on his way out the door who wants to know the Twins score. They know that the type of people who write and read BR are going to watch Sportscenter anyway.
It's kind of like complaining about Tim McCarver explaining during the World Series that lefties have an advantage getting left handed batters out. You know that, and I know that, but the guy who watches the World Series every five (or fifteen, or forty five) years when his hometown team is in it doesn't know that.
from 2 months ago
this is a great point - that SportsCenter and most sports programming these days, is no longer geared to die hard fans, but to casual fans. I understand that, but it makes it increasingly frustrating to watch.
2 months ago
Great article. I love all anti-SportsCenter material. It has fallen so far. Not to be nostalgic, but I used to make sure I watched SportsCenter every single night, the same way I make sure to watch when The Wire or the Shield or another of my favorite tv shows is on (which isnt often since the wire is over and the shield isnt coming back until the fall, but that is for another day). Now all the anchors are essentially the same - they aren't funny and they are all trying way too hard. they all try especially too hard to have funny catch phrases - i rarely watch, usually only if there is something specific i have to see, but i have heard an anchor say repeatedly "winner, winner, chicken dinner." really? that is what you decided to go with. just like so many other things in sports media, ESPN couldn't just say SportsCenter is working with two anchors, doing highlights, being naturally funny. They had to mess with it, add to it, making it more catchy and flashy, and fill it with so much nonsense. The interview with LT is a great example - it is May. Why would that interview air now? ESPN in general is a classic example of having too much money and power - they can do whatever they want because they can, and in the end, no matter how much I don't like the majority of what ESPN does these days, I am a huge sports fan and really have no choice but to watch SportsCenter (or ESPNNEWS) to see highlights.
2 months ago
All that rumblin, bumblin, smack talk crapola exist only to make themselves look good, and make money off of real talent, the athletes. Great Read. Finally someone said it, and effectively too.
2 months ago
Thank you very much article of the year!
2 months ago
Great article!The only thing I like now about sportscenter is how they list what's coming up on the right hand side so I can just fast forward thru all the bs to the stuff I really want to see.
from 2 months ago
Haha Mike I do the same thing now, it really lets me cut out on the junk. SC use to be one of my favorites, but now I only turn it on when I can not stand to watch anything else. Great article and is so very very true.
about 1 month ago
I love this one from last night they gave stats on NL 1st baseman under 26 to hit 3 homers in a game in the last 50 years. Damn espn sucks this should be article of the freaking year.I do not understand 90 percent of the crap stuart scott or chris berman are talking about anyway.
about 1 month ago
Thanks, everyone. I'm glad I'm not alone on this. I just wish there was more integrity...you can still be fun and crack jokes, but give me what's important.
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