MLB Home Run Derby Chronicle: Volume 1

(Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

Well, I just turned on the Home Run Derby right at the beginning of ESPN's coverage, but I can't help to point out that Chris Berman announces the Derby. Why exactly? I think this is his only non-football broadcast in the entirety of ESPN. But, anyway, after Berman just introduced Albert Pujols, I think Ryan Howard's ovation was fairly similar (even though he is a native).

But, here's how this works. There will be a timestamp for each time something notable happens followed by what happened, and, yes, notable is pretty loose here.

8:09PM: I'm pretty sure Joe Morgan just said he won't pick Prince Fielder because his swing is too nice but too hard. Sure, fatigue can play a factor, but isn't that, well, what you want to hit home runs??

8:11PM: Chris Berman let's everyone know that they are probably familiar with the rules of the the Derby, but then struggles through them himself. Uh, Chris, how many times have you been doing this?

I just noticed John Kruk is not here. Is he usually not there??

8:12PM: Apparently, the Home Run Derby is now like the Home Run Challenge in the Bigs. If you hit it to three targets around the field or hit the gold ball, money is raised. Interesting...

8:13PM: Call your shot contest. A tribute to Babe Ruth or an embarrassment to some of these players?
And they have a new Tahoe in the outfield, what happens if Pujols just lines one right into the truck? I mean with Chevy's current state economically, that could be pretty bad.

8:15PM: While waiting for his pitch, I'm pretty sure Pujols just screamed at the pitcher in Spanish. And he's taken about five pitches so far—make that 6—just for the call your shot.

8:17PM: Well, Pujols couldn't call his shot, hit one to the spot but way short, and a bloop to center field. That's why no one calls shots anymore, too risky.

8:18PM: Nice moment as Ozzie Smith throws out the first pitch of the HR Derby to Yadier Molina.

8:19PM: ESPN really must not have much to show, as within 15 minutes, they have showed the lineup twice, a new camera angle, and all the different prizes people can win. 21 minutes in, Nelson Cruz finally steps up.

8:21PM: Cruz hits two straight jacks, but the kids in the outfield are looking a little sparse. Is no one interested in being there?

8:22PM: One of the kids caught a routine fly ball, but lost his hat in the process. Odd.

8:24PM: Found my answer. all the kids are chilling in the bullpen. Wise choice, must be pretty hot.

8:25PM: First mention of Josh Hamilton comes 25 minutes in. I think the over wins on that.

8:26PM: Cruz just hit an absolute moon-shot for his ninth home run to the fourth deck of the stadium. Wow.

8:27PM: Everything is happening at once! First moon-shot, first Hamilton mention, first run-down of Chris Berman references!!! Ahh!

In other news, Cruz finishes his first round with 11 home runs as Josh Hamilton comes out to greet him.

8:28PM: Come on Joe Morgan. Are you really comparing Nelson Cruz's first round performance to Josh Hamilton's last season just because they are both Rangers? Really?

8:30PM: Wait, interviewing Albert Pujols already? Did he win, and Prince Fielder is just taking BP?

8:31PM: In the other bullpen there was a bunch of kids in blue (contrary to all of them in red so far). Now we know where they hide the Cubs fans!

8:33PM: Chris Berman is good with hyperbole. Apparently four first basemen from the NL equals all 15 in the Home Run Derby.

8:37PM: Sorry, no updates for an astounding four minutes.  You only missed eight home runs by Prince Fielder, seven outs, and four minutes of Pujols coaching/interviewing, couldn't tell.

8:38PM: Fielder signals the pitcher to throw it a little lower. Next pitch: 497 foot blast. At least he knows what works.

8:39PM: Why do they have to actually go out and make a ton of gold baseballs for this? It probably costs a lot more than you or I would expect, and signifies....well, a donation? At least Fielder hit one of them out though. The MLB must feel it was a good decision now.

8:40PM: Random, but they just showed a panoramic view of St. Louis after Fielder finished his round with 11 home runs too. St. Louis seems like a nice city. But, to commercials!

8:43PM: That was a really long commercial...mainly about having nightmares about global warming. Odd.

8:44PM: Hey, it's John Kruk! Too bad it's on a commercial. Aww.

8:46PM: Brandon Inge looks pretty uncomfortable out there. Four straight outs. And Joe Morgan remains adamant about his man-crush—uhh, pick—of Ryan Howard.

8:48PM: Apparently ESPN got bored too with night straight outs by Inge, and cut to an int

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