Cleveland Indians Baseball: "Your Slogan Here"

Jim CantrellSenior Analyst IJuly 11, 2009

The Cleveland Indians, a team that entered this season with high hopes and lofty expectations, now at the All-Star Break find themselves the laughing stock of the entire league.

But as a Tribe fan myself, I can say with confidence that this season can still be saved. 

No, the team won't be trading for any good players, or firing the inept manager, or taking a look at the troubled farm system, or spending more money, or generally doing anything that would actually help the club win. 

But they could get a new slogan!

Having ridden the "Indians Fever: Catch It" train for years, and abandoning the "It's Tribe Time Now" catch-phrase after just a season or two, fans are clamoring for a change.

And much like the Indians' basketball brethren next door, the Cavs, who rode their "One Goal" rallying cry deep into the playoffs, I believe a new slogan is just what the Tribe needs to boost morale and get the team into the post-season once again. 

So without further ado, here are some sparkly new catch-phrases for the Cleveland Indians front office to consider:

"Cleveland Indians Baseball: Losing Is The New Winning!"

"Cleveland Indians Baseball: Strong Enough For A Man, But Made For A Woman!"

"Cleveland Indians Baseball: Irritating Northern Ohioans For Over One Hundred Years!"

"Cleveland Indians Baseball: The Real Reason The French Hate Us!"

"Cleveland Indians Baseball: This Will Only Sting A Minute!"

"Cleveland Indians Baseball: We're Not The Browns!"

"Cleveland Indians Baseball: Because There's Nothing Else On!"

"Cleveland Indians Baseball: Who Needs All-Stars? We've Got Pudding!"

"Cleveland Indians Baseball: We Dare You To Watch!"

"Cleveland Indians Baseball: Now Gluten Free!"

"Cleveland Indians Baseball: Who Do We Think We're Fooling!"

"Cleveland Indians Baseball: Free Colonoscopy With Every Purchase!"

And finally, "Cleveland Indians Baseball: If It's So Easy, Then Let's See You Try It!"

A difficult choice, I know.

And even though a slogan may seem like an insignificant worry to some fans in the midst of this lost season, if there's one thing the Tribe front office has shown over and over in recent years, it's that there is no decision too large or too small for them to screw up.

Because when it comes to Cleveland Indians Baseball: Frankly, They Don't Know What The Heck They're Doing.