25 Awesome Athlete Toys

What qualifies as a "toy"?

After the obvious Christmas wish list fodder—you know, the headache-inducing products that circumvent the parent via hyperaggressive marketing—what meets the definition of "toy" is truly subjective. 

And I'm just referring to grown men and women who refer to luxury cars and superfluous Burberry products as "toys."

Kids will find more entertainment value in box full of Styrofoam peanuts than anything found on a "big box" store shelf, and a cat will bat around a scrap of paper for hours.

What makes something a toy is a sense of joy—of forgetting about school or a job or an argument in a moment of suspended reality.

For athletes, one of the greatest rewards of forging their innate talent and hard work into a professional career is turning the windfall into virtual wish fulfillment for their friends, family...and, yes, themselves.

Being Santa Claus is awesome, even if the person on the "good list" is yourself.  

These are 25 awesome athlete toys.

Vernon Davis, San Francisco 49ers

Instagram ID: vernondavis85

Caption: Took the Rex to church today and it got so much love@jareem24.

Apparently, Niners tight end Vernon Davis has a vehicle that is part motorcycle, part sports car. And he or someone he knows drives that thing to church.  

Andre Drummond, Detroit Pistons

Instagram ID: andredrummondd 

Caption: New ride [sunglasses face emoji]

The Pistons’ Andre Drummond might very well have a gold-plated BMW. Or maybe it’s just some exceptionally flattering lighting. Either way, it’s pretty glorious. 

Josh Cribbs, NFL Free Agent

Instagram ID: joshcribbs16

Caption: I'm a big kid, I stay playing games I couldn't afford 2 play when I was a kid...

Wide receiver Josh Cribbs may get paid a lot of money to play a game for a living, but he hasn’t forgotten his more humble beginnings. Clearly he’s still a big kid at heart. 

Josh Cribbs, NFL Free Agent

Instagram ID: joshcribbs16

Caption: I knew this day was coming... I just didn't think it would be this soon:( be back by 10

Although it’s kind of annoying to see athletes dumping money into terrible investments for themselves, it’s always adorable to see them give their little ones the things they never had as kids, as Cribbs has done with this tiny-tot Escalade. 

Scottie Upshall, Florida Panthers

Instagram ID: supshall9

Caption: I get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog! #ThoughtTheRockyMountainsWereALotRockierThanThis

Part smart car, part scooter. Panthers forward Scottie Upshall proves only celebrity types benefit from the byproducts of accidental engineering. Seriously, have you ever seen another human being in one of these things?

Reggie Bush, Detroit Lions

Instagram ID: reggiebush

Caption: Nice day for a ride! #BikeGang

Lions running back Reggie Bush has at least one trophy he’ll never have to give back.

C.J. Wilson, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

Instagram ID: cjwilsonphoto

Caption: Before @kirbychambliss started doing front flips in the plane...#carbonfiberwings @redbull Aerobatic plane in AZ. #RealGs #Survived

Angels pitcher C.J. Wilson has an entirely different life off the baseball field, one generally filled with race cars and stunt planes. No surprise given his past...

C.J. Wilson, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

Instagram ID: cjwilsonphoto

Caption: #fbf always into motorcycles #skysoutthighsout #chubbiesshorts #stunnershades

Clearly, Wilson was introduced to awesome auto machinery at a very early age. No wonder he’s comfortable behind the wheels of so many ridiculously unsafe vehicles. 

Chris Paul, Los Angeles Clippers

Instagram ID: cp3

Caption: S/O to my homie @vonsmith1 for our #NoLabel watches too!

Despite making roughly a billion dollars per year, Clippers superstar Chris Paul doesn’t pay for much of anything. Although he could easily afford a couple of surprisingly cool No Label watches for him and his son, it’s one of the many expenses he never has to worry about. Like shoes. 

Adrian Clayborn, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Instagram ID: ajaclay94

Caption: Ugghhh I just don't know which one ima pull out today!

Buccaneers defensive end Adrian Clayborn has one helluva conundrum on his hands, having to choose between two pretty glorious looking remote-controlled cars. Personally, I’d go with the yellow one. 

Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder

Instagram ID: easymoneysniper 

Caption: I’m crackin

Thunder superstar Kevin Durant, like many well-connected professional athletes, doesn’t have to worry about finding time to devote to gaming on the road. Have you ever wondered what’s in an athlete’s briefcase? Apparently it’s his video gaming console of choice and a TV. 

DeJuan Blair, Washington Wizards

Instagram ID: dejuan45

Caption: My bestfriend on this plane!!!!

Speaking of basketball player’s briefcases! Kevin Durant has an Xbox in his, while DeJuan Blair has a PlayStation inside his. 

Wojtek Wolski, KHL

Instagram ID: wojtekwolski86

Caption: Taking the boat out for lunch. @mikekimel11 @ryanzale

Hockey player Wojtek Wolski has one heck of a lunchtime diversion, with a boat that looks like it’s easily faster than any vehicle any of us could ever hope to own. 

Sean Weatherspoon, Atlanta Falcons

Instagram ID: spoonjones56

Caption: 84's just popped up at the crib

Falcons linebacker Sean Weatherspoon got these ridiculously tricked-out rims a couple of years ago, which may or may not be worthy of occupying the wheel space of this very cool car he got last year. 

Tony Jefferson, Arizona Cardinals

Instagram ID: tonyjefferson

Caption: Look what came in the mail today [smiley emoji, thumbs up emoji] bringing it back

Proving once again that athletes are not so unlike the rest of us, Cardinals safety Tony Jefferson gets excited for some old-school Game Boy games that recently arrived in the mail like angels sent from heaven. 

Dee Ford, Kansas City Chiefs

Instagram ID: dee_ford

Caption: My new toys... Well not including the tons of protein shakes and coconut water lol ... Preciate it Sam Ash...great deals

Chiefs linebacker Dee Ford has a brand-new recording studio in his home, which extends well beyond the keyboards in the photo. He’s also got a pretty sweet pool table occupying his new expansive home in KC.

Rickie Fowler, PGA

Instagram ID: therealrickiefowler

Caption: Time for some fun #SeaDoo #RXP

PGA pro Rickie Fowler needs something to distract him in his regular life after falling just short in one of the most epic final major rounds in the history of golf. Honestly, he might need more than a Sea-Doo after the 2014 PGA Championship. 

Nick Young, Los Angeles Lakers

Instagram ID: swaggyp1

Caption: This is a big 2 yr old think he so cool [sunglasses face emoji, thumbs up emoji] lol 

The Lakers may have been struggling mightily the last two seasons, but Nick Young’s son certainly hasn’t been feeling the pain. He already looks better in that vehicle than the Lakers have looked in the playoffs in years. 

Aaron Williams, Buffalo Bills

Instagram ID: ajwilliams23

Caption: Hula hoop, Work! Work!

Bills safety Aaron Williams may or may not have actually purchased this hula hoop—honestly, I’m guessing not—but there’s no question he’s got the hip action required to make that baby sing. 

Usain Bolt, Jamaican Olympian

Instagram ID: usainbolt

Caption: I am making it up up in here right now( hot home that is)

Jamaican Olympian Usain Bolt’s Instagram page reveals countless ridiculously amazing toys, most of which are cars that cost more than your house. His adorable little DJ setup makes him far more relatable, though. 

Shaquille O’Neal, Retired NBA

Instagram ID: shaq

Caption: I LIKE THE CARZ DA CARZ DAT BOOOM

A well-known Superman enthusiast, Shaquille O’Neal has taken his love for the overrated superhero into his ride. Based on the flaccid seatbelts, it looks like this elaborate speaker configuration exists instead of a back seat.

Shaquille O’Neal, Retired NBA

Instagram ID: shaq

Caption: My HOOPDOG BENTLEY

In case you were wondering about the make and model of the car in the last slide, it seems it’s not one of those Buick sedans Shaq gets for free as a pitchman. This thing is actually a Bentley. 

Darnell Dockett, Arizona Cardinals

Instagram ID: dockett90

Caption: Doughnuts and s--t!

Cardinals defensive end Darnell Dockett is likely the envy of his neighbors—or maybe the bane of their existence—with his badass ATV(s). 

Tony Hawk, Skateboarder

Instagram ID: tonyhawk

Caption: This is how Keegan spent his gift certificate.

If you think skateboarding legend Tony Hawk lives the charmed life of a super-rich, overgrown kid, it’s nothing compared to the life his lucky kids get to live. Human bubble wrap? Too awesome for words. 

Paul George, Indiana Pacers

Instagram ID: ygtrece

Caption: Gold plated!

Wow. So…that’s the first toy on this list that really made me think, “This is useless and too obnoxious for words.” That being said, get well soon, PG. If anyone deserves a gold-plated X-box controller, it’s you.