Ronaldo Injured, Yet Still Playing With Balls

There’s an old saying among men: “Never put your hos before your bros.” Well, maybe its not that old, but its a saying nonetheless.

Well, Ronaldo, all-time leading scorer in the most treasured tournament of them all, the FIFA World Cup, finally figured out a loophole to the above rule of manhood: get some hos who are bros.

Yes, its now been one week since one of the greatest soccer players ever was caught with not one, not two, but three transvestite hookers. It was likely the first hat trick that Ronaldo would have rather never came to fruition.

Reports stated that Ronaldo did not discover that his call girls were call boys until he “joined them in a hotel room.” Methinks somebody was a little surprised to be have come up holding a kielbasa at that shindig.

He stated that he declined any sexual contact with them once he realized they were men. The ladies (lads) of the night though just weren’t having any of that and decided that if they couldn’t sleep with Ronaldo, they would still extort a little of his vast wealth to keep the incident quiet.

Ronaldo made an offer, but the whores refused it and asked for more. Apparently transvestite prostitutes don’t just take what you give them, like flea market vendors, they like to negotiate. Well, Ronaldo should have just paid the piper (or would it be just the pipe?), because he refused to answer their demands and now his reputation is marred for eternity.

Not that it was squeaky clean before. Ronaldo has always been reputed to be as fond of prostitutes as Eliot Spitzer, Charlie Sheen and Hugh Grant all rolled into one. But, unlike those well-known aficionados of the sex industry, Ronaldo has been caught with a transvestite, which is in a whole new ballpark as celebrity scandals are concerned. A ballpark with franks. (I’m already sorry for that pun…)

Ronaldo said that after the incident, “I cried alot.”

Here’s a pic of one of the alleged transvestites. If I had almost had sexual relations with her (him), I would be crying too, buddy.