If you've never found yourself dying of thirst in the desert before, let me fill you in on something: It's a bit of a beggars-can't-choose environment. If you crawl past a puddle, you're not going to think "I wish that had more ice cubes in it" or "that may not be water." You're going to drink and drink deeply, interrupted only to make, you know, heaving sounds.
And with that, I give you UFC Fight Night 47: A Tepid Drink in the Desert.
I'm kidding, to a point. But as with all great comedy, there is some basis in fact. UFC fans have been without a card for nearly three weeks now (thanks a lot, UFC 176 cancellation). When you're used to approximately 700 fight cards every week, three weeks is a long drought.
(One could argue that fewer cards is a good thing and that the disbursement of the UFC 176 fights to other cards is a demonstration of that, given how much it strengthened the remaining cards, but I'm going to ignore that argument because it messes up my desert metaphor.)
The second main fact is that this card, well, it's not the strongest. In your main event, you have Ovince St. Preux vs. Ryan Bader in a battle of two talented light heavyweights who might possibly maybe someday potentially get a title shot with a win.
So it's a slightly unsexy card. And yet, it's still the UFC, and the UFC has the best fighters. And it's on free cable to boot, so if you're in front of a TV on Saturday, August 16, what do you have to lose?
Plus, it's the UFC's first event in Maine. So be a living part of history, why don't you, and join in for the fun. Here are information capsules, predictions and viewing coordinates for all 10 bouts on the Fight Night 47 slate. Drink up.