Last evening, News of the Nonsensical World reported that the Intercontinental Hotel had laid out some dishes in the name of the newly crowned Wimbledon Champion.
This is the gist of their menu card:
Roger Federer Special
Henceforth, all our dishes will be colored gold.
They will henceforth have only 15 dishes on their list in praise of the champion.
Served in style!
Special Discount for Bleacher Report's Roger Federer writers. Even new entrants get a discount. No queues, just holler "Allez Roger!"
1) Roger Cheese Sandwich
Roger Federer is like Swiss cheese that the ladies would like to spread on their bread and devour like a hamburger or a Subway sandwich.
2) Roger Choco Mousse
Roger Federer is like the proverbial Swiss chocolate mousse that ladies would get a bite of and feel delighted.
Very very delightful!
3) Roger Waffle
Roger Federer is like the proverbial Danish Waffle that the Roger Federer fans can waffle in.
Very very waffly!
4) Roger French Wine
Roger Federer is like the proverbial French Wine that women would like to get a goblet of.
Very very overpowering!
5) Roger Lasagna
Roger Federer will be like the proverbial Italian lasagna to delight the taste buds.
Very very tasty!
6) Roger Fries
Roger Federer is like a crispy french fry to the ladies
Very very crispy!
7) Roger Clear Soup
Roger is like crystal clear soup to spread warmth.
Very very nice!
8) Roger Pizza
Roger is like the delicious aromatic pizza like from Denny's.
Very very sumptuous!
9) Roger Fish 'n' Chips
Roger is as smelly as fish and as crispy as chips.
Very very gud!
10) Roger Tiger Prawns
Roger tiger prawns bounce of your plate right into your mouth.
Very very bouncy!
11) Roger Navy Beans
Roger Navy Beans are as good as the best protein filled diet in the entire world.
Very very rich!
12) Roger Chicken Wings
Roger chicken wings are sure to relish their juicy best.
Very very juicy!
13) Roger Chinese Noodles
Roger Chinese noodles are tossed to perfection.
Very very perfect!
14) Roger Loves No. 15
Our speciality cocktail that is fizzy.
Very very fizzy!
15) Roger Swiss Delight Ice cream
Roger is like the ice cream that women and men of all ages scream for.
Very very (s)creamy!
This is for fun; don't get nasty.