Unbeknownst to most Americans, the MLS is in full swing, already six weeks into the season. The mere fact that there is professional soccer in the U.S. might come as a surprise to you, but I assure you, it does exist.
Like the majority of Americans, I can only be bothered to care about soccer every four years, when the World Cup rolls around. Even then, the only reason for watching is the hope that our C-Team athletes can beat a country that actually cares about the sport.
With that being said, we have to wonder; why soccer isn’t popular in this country? Why is it that every child begins his sporting career with soccer, only to pursue a different sport as soon as he or she can? How can the most popular sport in the world be relegated to the same fanfare as bass fishing and bowling in our country?
Well, I’ve done some thinking, and I’ve come up with 10 reasons why soccer isn’t popular in the United States.
10. Riots
It’s not the act of rioting itself, but rather the fact that they are rioting over soccer. In real countries, we riot over race relations, the overthrow of a government, or because our team just won a championship. However, soccer fans riot because it has become a cliché thing to do. It has no real purpose, no end result, and is ultimately brushed off as “soccer hooliganism”. Moreover, hooliganism doesn’t even sound frightening (as a riot should), but rather like a bunch of drunken men playing grab-ass and making a mess.
9. Player’s with one name
No one is special enough to have one name, not even you Bono.
8. Brutality
It’s true, Americans like our fair share of violence. We seem to believe that if someone is going to be paid millions of dollars to play a sport, then there should be some possibility of irreversible bodily harm or death. This would explain why NASCAR and the NFL are currently America’s two favorite sporting events.
To further that point, I ask you what sport is the fastest growing in the U.S.? The answer would be MMA (mixed-martial-arts); a modern-day gladiatorial games.
7. Flopping
Not many things turn Americans off to soccer more than the flop. When we want to see acting, we go to a movie, not a sports arena. Only in soccer can a grown man theatrically run himself into ground at the slightest of contact, then grasp a portion of his body as if it had been blown off by a high-powered rifle. This is then applauded as a valiant attempt to draw a call, after which the theif usually gets up seemingly unhurt, ready to fire their free kick.
6. Objectivity
Soccer has a clock which continually runs up instead of down, and in the end, a single man decides when the game will end without informing anyone else. On top of his already misplaced power, he can basically give and take away points on a whim. There is no rulebook as to what clearly defines a foul, or a bad tackle. You can play an entire match only to have it decided by a thespian disguised as an athlete taking a theatrical dive in the penalty area.
Thus, you are determining a winner by a random event that has little to no relevance to the rest of the game. Americans would never stand for it; it reeks of random injustice and unearned glory.
5. Substitution
Since each team is only allotted three substitutions per game, soccer fans and players continually pride themselves on the fact that they ‘have stamina” or “run the entire game”. In reality, this retards the game. Not only will we only see a maximum of 12 different players from either team, but by the time the game gets into the final minutes, they are exhaustedly trotting around with no attempt to make a play on the ball until it comes to them.
If the ball does happen to roll their way, they’ll probably fail to make a play and immediately resort to the flop. Then they’ll lie on the ground for a good minute or two to regain the energy they’ve lost chasing a ball around for an hour.
4. Not Enough Scoring
A soccer team generally scores as much as Steve Erkel. When your sport fails to notch as many points as a baseball game, there is a serious problem. It’s sad when a group of generally unathletic guys playing a sport in pants, in which there is a very real possibility that not a single bead of sweat will develop on them, still manage to have more scoring and excitement than soccer.
3. The Use of Hands (or lack thereof)
In the course of human evolution, the opposed thumb is perhaps the single most important genetic alteration, yet soccer does not allow us to celebrate this. Americans however, enjoy the use of our hands, which is why we created basketball; the American version of soccer.
While Basketball encompasses the constant movement of soccer and the ability for the ref to objectively award free points, it does have its alterations. For instance, there’s more scoring, no goalie dressed in different attire as his teammates, freedom of substitution, and the all important use of hands.
2. The Tie
It has been said that a tie is like kissing your sister, and in soccer it happens 55 percent of the time
1. We’re not the best at it
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5 months ago
10) What do you mean in 'real' countries? That's quite an offensive remark
9) A couple of Brazilians use one name instead of 5 or 6...that is hardly a point..
8) You obviously didn't see Eduardo Da Silva's lower leg hanging off earlier this season.
7) The only real point so far.
6) The referee informs the other officials and the crowd is then in formed as to how many minutes will be added. You say no american would ever stand it then why is it so many americans watch and play soccer?
5)"retards the game"? In the NFL players hardly even move and when thery do it's for seconds at a time....so what is your point?
4) Yes but the scores vary just like every other sport...some games with more goals than others.
3) Thats just silly...many many sports only use specific body parts...most American sports don't involve feet...does that make them any less of a sport.
2) The tie is a great thing as teams can be even...there is nothing wrong with that.
1) You are actually not bad but Americans aren't always the best at all your other sports so what has that got to do with anything?
We have a soccer section on here because football is the most popular sport on the planet. We don't need your support bud but thanks for sharing anyway.
from 5 months ago
Andrew,
I'm glad that you read my article, but I'm surprised you took offense to that fact that I was explaining why your beloved sport isn't popular in America. I understand that soccer is the most popular sport in the world (largely because it can be played in 3rd world regions seeing as you only need a ball and it's the oldest) and I don't intend on lending much support. But I will be present in your dearest South Africa for the next world cup.
10) By real countries I mean America (the one that currently albeit disasterously runs the show); it was suppose to offensive but in a satrical way.
9) That is a great point. 5 or 6 brazilians is more than enough to warrant the comment.
8) One ankle injury and you call that brutality? Cmon buddy, you can't say soccer is even close in that regard to MMA, NFL, NASCAR, BOXING, or RUGBY. Did you see DIDA fall like a little girl after being lightly tapped by a fan? At least cite the fact that Europeans watch Rugby.
6)Where are all these Americans that watch soccer? Like I said it gets worse ratings than any major sport and is even beat by Bass Fishing and Bowling. For a country that loves sports and idolizes athletes, soccer garners little.
5) ????? I don't know what the NFL has to do with that. I said that their lack of subsitution retards the game in that it slows down the players and pace of action in the final and most exciting moments.
4) Your sport varies from 0-4 basically.
3) I never said soccer wasn't a sport. It is entitled why soccer isn't popular in the United States.
2) EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH A TIE; especially in America where if your not first your last. Besides why would I pay to watch an event only to have it not come to a conclusion. It's like getting Blue-Balls; nobody wins.
1) Your right, owing the most olympic gold medals, being the best at Basketball, having the majority of the best womens sports, all while having our best athletes play a sport that the rest of the world couldn't even compete in isnt that special. I'm not saying we're always the best at every sport but we're always up there. Whereas tha majority of other countries specialize in one thing.
Personally i rather watch soccer over every sport other than Football, Basketball, or Hockey; but seeing as the MLS is a joke why would I waste my time watching inferior talent? I wouldn't have asked or even wanted any europeans to pay for or sit through an NFL Europe game.
from 5 months ago
I'm not offended mate. Was just responding and debating some of your points.
9) That's like saying because 5 or 6 players names are too big for fans to understand as a point. I really don't see what a few one named individuals which is just a tradition in Brazilian sport.
8) Soccer is still a contact sport where people break bones and lose teeth every week. And there is virtually no padding.
6) Well people go to the games don't they? It's on tv isn't it?
5) I'd argue that often it adds to the game as that moment of tiredness or lack of concentration can be the differenc between winning and losing as you like to see.
4) Basketball varies from 70 -120 it's still just a scoring method...
3)I never said that either...I said it doesn't make it any less of a sport....Which you tried to make out by saying what kind of sport doesnt use hands.
2) You have your opinion and I have mine. Fair enough
1) Argentina are Olympic Champions of basketball are they not? Just teasing. You are one of the biggest richest countries on the planet, ofcourse you can do it all.
You seem to not mind soccer that much, considering some of the lines in your article.
from 5 months ago
I can't believe that NASCAR is seriously mentioned on the injury argument. As a person that enjoys watching a NASCAR event, very rarely will somebody get injured, let alone having a limb torn. There are the extremely rare (less than once every year) major injuries, but other than that, a slight limp is the worst you will get. Soccer is a sport that stays energetic and I'm sure that I can fall in love with it like I did for the World Cup, even if I have to watch different countries play.
5 months ago
Well said Andrew, But damn I had to laugh at the 3rd point - No Use Of hands - Thats the dumbest thing Ive herad..
Bro, there is a reason why Football is more popular in Europe than Basketball is in America. Its the best sport that exists.....
from 5 months ago
No the reason basketball isnt more popular in America is the NFL.
There's no sense in me arguing with you as to whether soccer is the best sport that exists seeing as that is a completely subjective viewpoint.
5 months ago
9) Its the point that no one is special enough to have one name; hence not even you Bono. And just because it's tradition dosen't mean it can't or shouldn't be changed.
8) there's virtually no padding because there is virtually no way you can get hurt. Moreover people forget that a helmet is more of a weapon than a protective gear (which is actually one of the problems regarding high frequency of injury in the NFL).
6) the people here don't really go to the games. I promise. And the ones that do are generally from soccer loving countries.
3) I never tried to make it as less of a sport; it as another reason as to why it's not popular in America by saying that American's value the use of our hands and like sports that involve them. Baseball (throwing, batting) Football (throwing, catching), Basketball (all hands), Hockey (stick handling), Golf (i guess it's a sport)
1) I know it pains me that aregentina won and i blame it on us not sending our best players; but even then it's no excuse.
from 5 months ago
Haha that single name thing is worrying me a bit Spenser. It can't upset you that much, surely.
5 months ago
For those that think flopping doesn't appeal to the American sportsfan, allow me to point you to the franchise that has made flopping an art: the San Antonio Spurs.
from 5 months ago
along with the rest of the NBA flopping is a huge problem.
5 months ago
Sebastian,
That is why no one outside of San Antonio likes the Spurs. Furthermore you should know full well that their starting lineup is comprised of Tony Parker (france ), Oberto (argentina), Duncan (fiji), Ginobilli (argentina); whom are all from countries where soccer dominates and they are accustom to flopping being a natural part of the game.
5 months ago
Andrew,
Haha yes it can. A good friend of mine is Brazilian and he tries vainly to justify this point, but I won't change my stance. The only people who should be allowed a single name are Greek Philosophers; not athletes, or musicians.
from 5 months ago
Need I bring up a man solely known as ICHIRO!!!!
4 months ago
I think soccer would be a much more exciting sport to watch in America if the field were about 60 yards long and there were only 7 guys out there from each team. It is not the lack of scoring that americans find boring about soccer, it is the lack of scoring opportunities. I mean a shot from outside the box hitting of the post isn't exciting? An amazing diving save isn't exciting? A headder gone just wide off a corner kick isn't exciting? About half of the game is played in the middle of the field where there is nothing to excite the average american except for a through-ball that may provide a scoring opportunity.
The reason I can watch soccer is because of the constant action, it may not be the most exciting of action throughout the entire game, but you there are no commericials and people running around doing something constantly. And because I understand the game, I realize the difficulty to possess the ball and can appreciate one good touch on the ball that someone makes, even if it is just to keep possession and pass it back to someone else.
The reason that the US will never be recognized as a top-tier team in the world is becasue the best athletes in the the US are playing sports where they can make the most money.
3 months ago
if u want to know why people in america dont like soccar answer this. whats going on for most of most of the games? passing. for a couple of hour u watch people passing. sports like football at least intresting to watch because of things like big hits, trick plays, and more big plays. cause think about it, how many soccar games have u seen or played where the score kept going back and forth with huge play after huge play until the game was decided in the last seconds? probly not a lot.
from 3 months ago
Exactly Football is organized warfare haha.
We like violence, statistics, gameplans, and the one on one battles. We love the idea that a athletically overmatched team can win through hitting and itensity, basically knock them out of playing and kill their will. There is something mezmorizing about watching a slower, smaller, person physically dominate a bigger faster person through intensity, heart, and agressivenss. We like seeing our legends take a punch or a hit, get up, and come right back and score; rather than lie on the field for some trainer to come rub water on you or unescessarily bring a stretcher.
That is one thing i saw in the Euro game today between germany and portugal that pissed me off; guys laying on the field after barely being touched, Lehman did it, a few portuguese players did it, and even Ballack did it, I'll give Klose a pass, at least he took a shoulder to the face; yet even then they brought a stretcher out just in case. It all reminded me of subtle difference in American sports. We are taught since we start playing, regardless of the sport to never lay down on the field and always get up, unless you physcially cannot.
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