Shakedown: The Blonde 'Stache (Contestant #1)

Welcome back to the Shakedown!

It’s nearly All-Star weekend in baseball — a weekend MLB Commissioner Bud Selig has tried to rid of the mustache  — so we appreciate those of you who have joined on to participate in the All-Star ‘Stache Dash and possibly win free tickets to the Mid-Summer classic.

Our latest “Monthly Mustache Shakedown” begins with a look at the “Best Blonde Mustache,” and where better to start than with a former major league All-Star?

Sure, that doesn’t leave us with many to choose from, but JSF’s Mustache Dept. Research Staff is very good. Very good indeed.

And they put forward a fine candidate in Cory Snyder, who is arguably best remembered from this 1987 Sports Illustrated cover story claiming the Cleveland Indians would win the American League East. They finished in seventh and lost 101 games.

But you know what? It didn’t matter. Not one bit. Because the Mustached American people had two representatives (Snyder and Joe Carter) of our ranks on the front cover of one of the finest magazines of the 20th Century (do they still print Sports Illustrated?).

Snyder went from the Great White Hype to your run-of-the-mill professional ballplayer, which means, he was better than 99.9 percent of those who read JSF.

And the man had that mustache, blond and delicate yet full of flavor and nuggets of refined mucus membranes. That does not suck.

In the end, Snyder played for nine seasons, batting .247 with a 149 HRs and 14 women conquested by his lower nose garden.

After Cleveland — a great mustache town — his mustache found suiters in Toronto, Chicago (White Sox), San Francisco and LA.

So here’s to Cory Snyder, our first offering in The Shakedown’s “Best Blond Mustache” contest. As always, we of course now ask for your suggestions on our final three candidates, as JSF is only as good as the quality of your semi-worthless suggestions.

Carry on.

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