The Pittsburgh Steelers' Secret Formula For Winning In The NFL

Timothy KesslerAnalyst IJuly 9, 2009

PITTSBURGH - FEBRUARY 03:  Ben Roethlisberger #7 of the Pittsburgh Steelers acknowleges the crowd during a parade to celebrate winning Super Bowl XLIII on February 3, 2009 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

This is going to be one of the most scientifically based articles that you will ever read, as well as politically correct, I might add. So buckle in and try and follow along.


Also, since this is concerning the Steelers’ secret formula for winning, only Pittsburgh fans are allowed to read any further. Thank you. We certainly do not need any New England patrons trying to sneak yet another advantage over us.


Without any further adieu, let us begin…


Every one of us has heard the saying that “the best offense is a great defense”. Have you not? Yes you have. So there is our first truth. We are going to accept it as such because there is nothing more scientific than popular belief. It is almost as good as seeing something on TV, with your own eyes. So it has got to be true.


Now, I am going to try and attempt to prove another statement as truth without the backing of popular belief or acceptance.  


This is a hard thing to do. Please do not attempt this at home. This should only be attempted under the supervision of a trained debating professional.


Here we go…”the best defense is a great running offense”.


Why do I say that? More importantly, why are you going to accept it as truth?


Well, first…because I am telling you to. Second, it would be really nice of you. Third and most importantly, the article will not work unless you do. So just accept it and keep reading.


1- A good running game will keep our defense off the field and fresh. They will be more capable of defending the field because they will have more energy.


2- A good running game will keep the opposing teams defense on the field longer as it eat up time of possession, tiring them out by the fourth quarter. They will be less capable of defending the field because they will have less energy.


3- A good running game will keep the opposing teams offense off the field as well. The longer they are off the field, the less chance they have of scoring.


4- A good running game will keep the opposing teams defense more honest, which will result in a better passing game, giving us a better chance at scoring.


This bodes well for our chances of success. It has been proven over many years of trial and error; hence, it is now a scientifically proven fact that…“the best defense is a great running offense”.


Popular belief and acceptance of this newly found statement will soon follow. It will become as accepted as “the best offense is a great defense”… without a doubt.


With that still fresh in our minds; let us apply both to another greatly known and widely used mathematical equation, shall we?


If A=B and B=C then, of course, A=C.


So, if “the best offense” = “a great defense” and “the best defense” = “a great running offense”, then it absolutely holds true that “the best offense” = “a great running offense”.


It is now a mathematical fact.


There you have it. Undisputed scientific proof as to why the Steelers will never leave their run-first style of offense to become a pass heavy team. There can be no denying it. I do not expect to see a single person disagree.


It is the Pittsburgh Steelers’ secret formula to consistently winning over the past 40 years. Well that, and of course, every Steeler has got to own a hat like Ben has on in the picture.


I just hope no New England fans read the whole way through this article, or we will have to stop them before they reach Belichick with this ancient Chinese secret.