Rivalry Advice: The Eagles and How To Win an Argument with a Cowboys Fan

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Rivalry Advice: The Eagles and How To Win an Argument with a Cowboys Fan
(Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

So recently, and by recently I mean for a while now, I have had to defend my favorite football team against Cowboys fans trying to put the Eagles down.

The first time this happened I wasn't very educated on some of the Eagles stats, so I had to retreat and regroup.

So here is what I came up with, if you ever get in an argument with one of these rivals of ours, to be able to win this argument, and continue on your way with a swag in your step.

After all, this is war.

 

A Cowboys fan's stereotypical argument

The Philadelphia Eagles Suck.

They are bad at everything.

Donovan McNabb? Where's a doctor when you need one? He chokes in big games. Oh, well he's probably riding the wood now (the bench, not the other thing) like he did earlier this season. How long ago was it that another starting QB had to be taken out of a game? Why exactly is Tony Romo's QB rating higher? Because McNabb is a walking, talking, throwing, joke. That's why.

Brian Westbrook? So? My grandfather can catch a football as well. Hey, if I was black, he could be my grandfather.

DeSean Jackson? Yeah, he's a bit speedy, but all in all, he sucks. Remember when he started to do a little dance before the endzone and dropped the ball? I do.

How many Super Bowls do the Eagles have? Whats that I hear? None. Wow, good franchise you've got there.

Speaking of choking, how many picks did McNabb throw in the Super Bowl he 'played' in? Three? Oh my, that's a shame.

McNabb will never be seen as good, never. Get out of town.

 

The Philadelphia fan's response

Here's where you as an Eagle fan responds. Here's where you as an Eagle fan steps up and turns to the offensive.

Here's where it counts.

When the Cowboy fan starts his rant about McNabb, gently remind him that McNabb trumps Tony Romo in all stats excluding all time QB rating.

McNabb has also reached the NFC championship plenty of times, all without a solid receiving core. Sure he's had good receivers, but he has never had the same-calibre receivers that Romo has had.

Now he does though.

So, you're tired of laying down the law with just some very well-put opinions? Start to toss the records around, you may need the internet at hand to prove to this rival that you are not going to stoop to lying.

You don't need to.

McNabb has the most consecutive pass completions with 24, this was against the New York Giants, a good team. No free passes here.

McNabb also holds the record for the least intercepted QB per pass attempt ever. That's right, of all time. Less than Steve Young, Joe Montana—you name them—McNabb has a lower percentage with the very small 2.09 percent.

McNabb also has the 3rd best TD to INT ratio of all time, behind Young and Tom Brady.

Not to mention McNabb has the third highest winning percentage amongst active QBs.

Don't forget to ask when the last time was that Romo won a playoff game.

He never has.

Now you could stop there, but don't. You want to demolish this Eagles "hater." After all this person supports the Cowboys. And he said some things about your favorite RB, Brian Westbrook.

Let's address that.

Westbrook, worse than Marion Barber? Not possible.

Westbrook does have double the Pro Bowl selections and appearances that Barber does. Double. To be honest he has two, while Barber has one. But the word "double" will make Cowboys fans squirm.

You can just casually throw in that Westbrook has led the NFL with yards from scrimmage. 2,104.

So here are a few of my solutions to an argument I get into a lot with Cowboys fans. They usually end up getting angry and insulting me as they sulk away.

That means you've won.

Don't forget to mention the ridiculous mascot the Cowboys have.

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