Marc Rzepczynski and the Spelling Bee All-Star Team

(Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

What's "Rzepczynski" spelled backwards, if it isn't already?

The Blue Jays are starting a young lefty named Marc Rzepczynski today against the Tampa Bay Rays—one of many starters in the Jays' patchwork rotation this year. He's 23 and his career minor league stats to date (21-11, 2.76 ERA, 277 K's in 254 innings) suggest that he can become a solid major leaguer.

But that's not why I'm writing.

I'm writing about him because, boy, that name is a doozy, isn't it?

I mean, I for one am glad that we no longer live in a world where Aloys Szymanski feels compelled to change his name to "Al Simmons", or Joannes Pajkos feels that he won't be accepted without changing his name to Jack Quinn. But it sure makes for some messy lineup cards.

So, in honor of other guys who've succeeded in spite of the fact that their elementary school teachers probably couldn't spell their names correctly, I came up with the Spelling Bee All-Star Team.

Lineup

Catcher: Jarrod Saltalamacchia

Not a good hitter to begin with, ("Salt-al-MATCH-ee-a", I think) is having an even worse year than normal at the plate, but makes the list on the merits of his 14-letter last name.

Besides, Casper Asbjornson has been dead for almost 40 years.

First Base: Mark Teixeira

I was tempted to go with Doug Mientczwkyzch (Mint-KAY-vich), but Teixiera can actually hit and play defense, and isn't all but unemployed at the moment.

While his name's not that long, there's no apparent reason why it should be pronounced "Te-SHARE-a", so he gets the nod.

Second Base: Mark Grudzielanek

He would be the easy choice here if he weren't retired, but then who am I going to pick, Omar Quintanilla? He's a pinch hitter with a .565 OPS.

Grudz (about whom that sentence above was originally uttered, by Harry Caray) is the obvious choice. He can come out of retirement to play the All-Star game.

Heck, Magic Johnson did it once, right?

Third Base: Edwin Encarnacion

Granted, he's been both lousy and injured this year, but there really isn't any other third baseman in the majors right now whose name is all that tough to either spell or pronounce.

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