Sign up or login to track your favorite teams

Sign Up for Bleacher Report

As a registered user you can subscribe to your favorite teams, post comments, write your own articles, and much more.

You must register in order for that functionality to work!








Validating sign up form ...

Bleacher Report articles are written by fans like you

Do you want to cover your favorite sports, teams, and leagues?

Processing writing preferences ...

Great, , you're signed up!

i.e. Big 10, LeBron James, USC Football

Selected Tags:

Logging in ...

Marian Hossa put on his most impressive performance in a Penguin uniform, scoring two goals, including the game-winner in overtime, to lead the Penguins into the Eastern Conference Finals...

Pens-Rangers Game 5: Who's the Hoss?

by Eric K [HUMOR]

1

1,338 reads

Humor

May 04, 2008


Marian Hossa put on his most impressive performance in a Penguin uniform, scoring two goals, including the game-winner in overtime, to lead the Penguins into the Eastern Conference Finals.

Recap

Before the game started, things were much simpler than NBC made them out to be... The Penguins wanted to win this game, the Rangers had to win this game.

The Rangers came out flying, getting the first four shots of the game. Then, they remembered they were playing in the Mellon Arena, and the Penguins pressured Lundqvist while rattling off the next seven shots on goal.

During the Penguins' offensive assault, NBC announcer Mike "Doc" Emrick somehow discovers how to use the word "finesse" as a noun, verb, and adjective all in the same sentence... what a joke.

Jaromir Jagr took a penalty, but the Pens couldn't get anything going on the power play.

Jagr then drew two consecutive penalties, but the Rangers power play is nonexistent, and the Pens killed them both off.

After the power plays, the Penguins put their fourth line on the ice, and Gary Roberts went absolutely beserk. Roberts recorded three hits in about 25 seconds, and the Mellon-ites came alive.

Nigel Dawes got some good looks at the net at the other end of the ice, but pulled a Straka and missed the net both times. At the end of the first period, it was deadlocked at zero.

The second period opened with the Penguins' top unit buzzing in the offensive zone. Marian Hossa shot a puck wide of an open net, then headed to the bench in disbelief that he choked on a golden opportunity like it was dry chicken.

NBC showed a nasty shot of Chris Drury leaving the ice with a nice sized gash (that was actively gushing blood) on the side of his face. The replay showed that Drury took a high stick from Ryan Malone. Apparently, that isn't a penalty anymore, and no call was made.

The teams alternated chances on the power play, until the Penguins finally capitalized on the man advantage.  Sidney Crosby hit Ryan Malone with a pass in the high slot area. Malone quickly shuffled the puck back door to Marian Hossa, who buried it behind Lundqvist to make it 1-0 Pens.

Michal Rozsival took his first of 43 penalties in the game on the ensuing shift. On the power play, Gary Roberts had a golden opportunity to put his team ahead by two, but was robbed by another incredible save by Lundqvist.

The Penguins returned to full strength, and at about the 12:30 mark of the period, Eddie Olczyk wonders if the fatigue effect will begin to set in on Evgeni Malkin, who had been on the ice for an extended shift after an icing call.

Ten seconds later, Malkin answered Edjoke's question by going coast-to-coast, pulling up in front of the net, and scoring on a sick backhand shot to make it 2-0 Pens.

Rozsival took another penalty on the ensuing shift, and somewhere a Ranger sportswriter accuses him of throwing the game.

Gonchar rang a heavy shot off the post on the ensuing power play, but we would head into the break with the score 2-0 Pittsburgh.

Just over two minutes into the third period, Lauri Korpikoski wins a sweepstakes at the Mellon Arena that allows him to suit up to play one shift for the Rangers. Korpijokeski makes momma proud, and rifles a shot over the shoulder of Fleury, making it 2-1 Pens.

Track this Article on My B/R
Flag This Article
Share This Article

1 comments Last one added about 1 year ago — Leave a Comment

  1. ...

    WHAT ....would this game have looked like IF that 4-minute penalty had been called on Malone, and NO call had been made on the Drury double minor?

    Guess we'll never know.

    Edit Comment Cancel

    ...

    Reply
    Great Comment (
    0
    )
    ...

Leave a Comment

  • You must register to post a comment.

  • Asylum

    Want to write for Bleacher Report

    We are a community of fans who write about sports. And we're growing.

    Learn More and Sign Up »



    Certain photos copyright © 2009 by Getty Images.
    Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Getty Images is strictly prohibited.