USFL To Re-Emerge As NFL Development League (Satire)

Richard ZowieCorrespondent IJuly 6, 2009

FEBRUARY 1985:  Quarterback Jim Kelly #12 of the Houston Gamblers scrambles during a 1985 season USFL game. (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

Do you miss spring football featuring the Philadelphia Stars, Birmingham Stallions, Denver Gold, Pittsburgh Maulers, Michigan Panthers, and Memphis Showboats?

Did you you ever wonder if the rumored merging of the Oakland Invaders and Arizona Outlaws would produce the Arizona In-laws?

Are you angry that The Man (in this case, then-NFL commissioner Pete Rozelle) spent far too much time keeping the USFL down when he should've been focusing on what outrageous headband Chicago Bears quarterback Jim McMahon was wearing?

If so, get ready, as the USFL will soon make a comeback.

Starting in 2012, the United States Football League will return to the gridiron. Granted, it won't be as a spring league competing against the NFL, but rather as an NFL development league.

NFL prospects, unsigned free agents, and those who wish to show their game skills can sign with a USFL team in hopes of developing their skills to get called up to the "big leagues" of the NFL.

So far, the teams slated for play are the Los Angeles Express, New Jersey Generals, Chicago Blitz, Tampa Bay Bandits, and Houston Gamblers.

There is a rumor that a group of investors in Oregon are trying to revive the Portland Breakers, and that they're trying to coax Ryan Leaf out of retirement to quarterback the team.

It remains to be seen whether this league will produce more Jim Kellys, Herschel Walkers, or Reggie Whites. Or whether controversy will develop, such as the time San Antonio Gunslingers front-office man Bud Haun was caught on live camera crawling out of an office window while Gunslingers players banged on his front door, demanding their paychecks.

"We've had so many first and second rounders wash out that they felt it was imperative to have a development league," said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, on the situation.