Ron Artest As a Muppet...

John 'Fatty'-Fatland by Correspondent Written on July 04, 2009
HOUSTON - APRIL 26:  Guard Ron Artest #96 of the Houston Rockets reacts after being fouled by Brandon Roy #7 of the Portland Trail Blazers in Game Four of the Western Conference Quarterfinals during the 2009 NBA Playoffs at Toyota Center on April 26, 2009 in Houston, Texas. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images) (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

Did you happen to see Ron Artest's ESPN interview after he agreed to sign with the Lakers?

That dude was 'hyper excited' to be a Lakers. So hyper in fact, he could hardly contain his emotions. And looks to me, he is afflicted with  R.A.D.D. 

"Ron's Attention Deficit Disorder".

How bad does Ron have this unique affliction only peculiar to him?

Its soo bad, I think he will do anything to win a Lakers Championship.

Even BEFORE he was a Lakers, he was eager to 'win one for the Kobester',  when he visited naked Kobe, in the shower, after the Lakers loss to Boston. "Kobe, I will do everything in my power to help you win a Title." An obvious R.A.D.D. moment

How bad does Ron Artest want another Lakers Championship? How much will he dedicate himself to the effort? More than the hardest working player in the NBA, Kobe?

If the shower incident is any indicator, he might just top Kobe's famous work ethic. And if that's the case, he should certainly be rewarded with his own Muppet comercial in my book.

So this is the Muppet commercial, I would like to see.

Here's the setting: Muppet Ron Artest is showing up at Kobe’s place at four in the morning. Ron is ringing the doorbell over and over again, as Kobe now opens the door half-asleep.

Picture Ron as the obnoxious, pesky kid.

“Cmon Kobe, let’s go work out!”

“Its 4 AM Ron!”

“Yeah, I know, sorry I’m late, but we got a Championship to win, and you know what they say, “The early bird gets the Title! Right Kobe, right Kobe!”

In the background, we hear LeBron yell out. “Who’s at the door Kobe?! Its the middle of the night!”

“It's nobody LeBron. go back to bed!”

“Hey Kobe, if LeBron wants to work out, he can come too. That would be fun. We’d be the Three Amigos. That sounds really nice Kobe. Uh Kobe?! Uh Kobe?!”

“That’s okay Ron, he don’t usually wake up 'till 10. And today, he’s meeting Shaq at Dunkin Donuts”

“Hey Kobe, Kobe, what you say after we lift weights we go down to El Segundo and play some one on one, followed by some three on three at UCLA. Ooh! Ooh! Kobe, I got a better idea. Let’s form a team and go to Las Vegas and play some in the NBA Summer League”

“Ron, Ron….” (Kobe shaking his head in disapproval)

“Kobe, Kobe, get this, We call ourselves, ‘The Brothers from LA’. That way, everyone knows we family now!”

“Ron, Ron…..I’m not even dressed!…….

“That’s okay Kobe, you can change in the car. We can’t waste time, because every second counts when you are trying to win a Championship. Right Kobe?! Right Kobe?!

“And Kobe, I got a real good idea, real good one. How about, I move in with you all? Then we can talk basketball ALL the time”

Kobe rolls his eyes wondering, what am I in for?

Author's note: If Ron-Ron puts in the effort he is capable of and follows through on his R.A.D.D.  enthusiasm with earnest committment. Good results may follow for the Lakers and him. Its going to be an interesting season, for sure.

Vote Now! - Author Poll

Will Ron Ron, help the Lakers win a Title?

  • A. Yes, Ron will be on his best behavior and help the Lakers contend
  • B. No, Ron will blow up and blow away the Lakers chances
  • C.It won't matter what he does. Other teams have gotten better
vote to see results
Results - Author Poll

Will Ron Ron, help the Lakers win a Title?

  • A. Yes, Ron will be on his best behavior and help the Lakers contend

    90.7%
  • B. No, Ron will blow up and blow away the Lakers chances

    3.7%
  • C.It won't matter what he does. Other teams have gotten better

    5.6%
  • Total votes: 464
(0)
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written on July 04, 2009 Humor

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