Jason Bay Needs Red Bull Energy Shots

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Jason Bay Needs Red Bull Energy Shots
(Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Newly sworn in U.S. citizen Jason Bay is looking for a U.S. energy boost.

Bay, a Canadian native, was sworn in Thursday morning at Faneuil Hall in Boston. He joins teammate David Ortiz (2008) and former Red Sox player Manny Ramirez (2004) who have done the same thing.
The Boston Red Sox left fielder is undergoing a major "slumpage" as he went 0-for-15 with nine strikeouts against the Baltimore Orioles and struck out a career high five times Wednesday afternoon. 
Bay has only six hits in his last 36 at-bats and his batting average has dipped down to .262.
The answer to all of this frustration? Red Bull's newest and most powerful creation yet; Red Bull Energy Shots.
This two ounce shot is fully compact in a plastic bottle and has the same power as an eight ounce can of Red Bull. Like the original, it's also available in sugar free.
One quick sip of this shot will give Jason Bay the "wiiings" he needs to get back to hitting clutch home runs and forcing general manager Theo Epstein to sign him to a long-term contract now. And if one doesn't work, heck, two or three will get the job done right?
Former center fielder Coco Crisp drank a Red Bull then made the "Leap of Faith Catch" to rob the Mets' David Wright in the top of the eighth inning at Fenway Park as Boston walked off with a 4-2 victory, its 12th straight at the time.
(Yes I remember alright)
So come on Bay, it's time to get like us crazy Americans and our, 5 Hour Energy, 6 Hour Power, and Red Bull Energy Shot Dietary Supplements.
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