Boston Celtics Beat Some Other Team

Andrew PalumboSenior Analyst IMay 1, 2008

Game Five: Boston Celtics vs.  ummm.....

The Boston Celtics showed up ready to play.  Against who, I couldn't tell you.

Don't get me wrong, I was at the game.  I just didn't even realize there was another team out there.  Sure I noticed individuals... Josh Smith (a nobody on a weak team) risking injury to one of the league's finest point guards (Rajon Rondo), Al Horford flexing his bicep and staring at it after making a "clutch" play (to bring his team within just 18 points with about 4 minutes left in the game), Zaza-whatever-her-name-is actually crying... yes, crying as she walked into the tunnel after the game, and who could forget the three players from the other team with whistles who called countless non-fouls and questionable defensive three-second calls against the Celtics.  

After a couple unfocused games, the Boston Celtics are back playing championship-caliber basketball and look ready to absolutely embarrass that other team when they travel to wherever for Game Six.

And yes, I'm ready for all of the complaints that will be sent my way from fans of that other team the Celtics played last night.  I don't respect them... it's unfair that I call Zaza a chick (even though she is a little bitch)... or I should focus my distaste against a "better team".

All I have to say to that is:

1) It's not my fault your J.V. squad made the NBA playoffs, blame Commissioner Stern, not me. 

2) You're right, I don't respect your squad. 

3) Yes, it IS unfair that I call Zaza a chick (what have women ever done to deserve such an insult?).

4) Finally, you don't have to worry, I'm ready to focus my distaste against a better team...

Let's finish Game Six fast so I can watch some playoff basketball.


Warning: This piece is the author's attempt at humor.  Any and all Atlanta Hawks may (and probably should) be offended by this article.  Attempts to take my comments seriously will result in hurt feelings, realizations that the Hawks' season is over, and Zaza-esque crocodile tears.